Friday 4/20/2012 5:55 AM
Yesterday I received an award at school for being one of the outstanding faculty members for the year. There were about a dozen recipients and each of us were called to the stage where we given and plaque and a medallion while the Faculty Senate president read descriptive words of our work at the school. It was a nice ceremony that I shared with my immediate family and with my brother, who happened to be in town.
There is something inside of me that craves recognition and validation. My mother says that, even as a small child, I needed constant reassurance and encouragement. Ironically, receiving praise and recognition makes me uncomfortable. Perhaps I am afraid of becoming arrogant and proud, afraid that I will think myself better than others. The Bible is replete with warnings about pride and I certainly do not want to be opposed by God, as James 4:6 states.
Perhaps the most troubling aspect of this whole process for me is the emptiness I experience in the aftermath. The anticipation of the event and the experience itself are filled with emotion but somehow the feeling of satisfaction and fulfillment deflates quickly afterwards, like a balloon that slips from your fingers while you are blowing it up. Jesus desires that his disciples will experience life to the full. The things of this life to which most people aspire, wealth, notoriety, and power, when attained, leave a feeling of emptiness and a longing for more. Blaise Pascal called it the God-shaped vacuum, the space that can only be satisfied with a relationship with God. When I experience intimacy with God there will no longer be a need for wealth, notoriety and power. God will be enough.
No comments:
Post a Comment