Green Pastures

Monday 12/19/2016 6:35 AM

I have not watered my front lawn for nearly two years due to the drought in California. My once manicured lawn has died and the ground is hard and barren with a few clumps of brown Bermuda grass trying to cling to life. A few weeks ago we received our first rain of the new season and this past week we received over half an inch, a welcome relief from the dryness. When I went to bring out the trash the other day I noticed the ground has softened, the barren spots are beginning to green up with baby shoots of winter rye grass and the Bermuda clumps are showing signs of life.

My lawn mirrors my spiritual life right now. Over the course of the past few months I have not watered my soul by spending time reading the Bible, contemplating what it is saying to me, and reflecting on how I can best live out my faith as I go about my daily routine. The near death of my nephew last winter, the grave infections my brother-in-law fought in the spring, and the declining health and eventual death of my mom throughout the summer and the fall did a number on me and I could not bring myself to read the Bible, or even to pray. Like my lawn, my soul is hard and barren, with just a few clumps of faith trying to cling on to hope.

This morning I opened my devotional material for the first time in over two weeks. My assigned reading included Psalm 65:9-12, “You care for the land and water it; you enrich it abundantly. The streams of God are filled with water to provide the people with grain, for so you ordained it. You drench its furrows and level its ridges; you soften it with showers and bless its crops. You crown the year with your bounty, and your carts overflow with abundance. The grasslands of the wilderness overflow; the hills are clothed with gladness.” The image of God sending rain to soften the ground and the image of the wilderness becoming an overflowing grassland reminded me of my front lawn being softened and greened up by the recent rains. My assigned reading also included James 5:7-8, “Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near.” This gives me hope that God will shower me with his gentle love to drench my furrowed soul, to level the wall-like ridges I have built, and to soften my hardened heart. That gentle love of God can come through the words of scripture, like it did this morning, or it can be transmitted through the loving words and actions of the people with whom I interact. More often than not it is through people, the loving intimacy of close friends and the kindness of complete strangers.

This dry time in my life has caused me to question the genuineness of my relationship with God. Was the intimacy I have experienced in the past merely a figment of my imagination, a human construct for a feeble mind, as some would suggest? Does the fact that I have no desire to even read the Bible or pray indicate that my faith is useless in times of trial? Does it disappear when I need it most? Thoughts like these have pelted me like hailstones over the past weeks. This morning the writing of Maria Boulding in her book, The Coming of God, brought me hope. She writes, “If you want God, and long for union with him, yet sometimes wonder what that means or whether it can mean anything at all, you are already walking with the God who comes. If you are at times so weary and involved with the struggle of living that you have no strength even to want [God], yet are still dissatisfied that you don’t, you are already keeping Advent in your life. If you have ever had an obscure intuition that the truth of things is somehow better, greater, more wonderful than you deserve or desire, that the touch of God in your life stills you by its gentleness, that there is a mercy beyond anything you could ever suspect, you are already drawn into the central mystery of salvation.”

This holiday season is one that exudes joy and happiness for many, but that is not the case for me this year. I have a feeling there are many others like me who are struggling with what life has dealt them throughout this year. Their lives may be as hard and barren as mine. Will I be someone who sucks whatever tiny hope of life that remains out of them or will I be the love of God for them, someone who is a gentle rain in their lives, softening the hard ground, drenching their furrowed ground, and causing the barren dryness to become a green pasture that sustains them in the struggle? I pray that, just as people have encouraged me during my struggle, I can be a purveyor of green pastures.

Santa Ana Winds

Saturday 12/3/2016 5:51 AM

We are currently experiencing the Santa Ana winds that occasionally blow in the Los Angeles basin. Yesterday there were numerous reports of downed trees and power lines throughout the area, causing extensive damage to property and generally disrupting people’s normal routines. When the winds occur in the summer months they are accompanied by high temperatures and are the perfect combination for wildfires. But, this morning when I ran, the temperature was 48 and the winds made it seem even colder.

The past few months have been a dark time for me. God seems distant to me and I have withdrawn in many areas of my life. I am doing what needs to be done at school but my heart doesn’t seem to be in it like it usually is. In my position of leadership at church I have also withdrawn, skipping meetings and disengaging during times of worship. Any service I give is done grudgingly and without enthusiasm. I feel distant from Jaci and don’t seem to have any energy to spend in trying to close that gap. Overall I feel a deep sadness that permeates every area of my life. I feel chilled, with the Santa Ana winds of life swirling around me, knocking down the power lines that usually energize me.

I’m pretty sure my feelings of sadness are caused by the difficult circumstances that have beset those I love this past year. My nephew Derek’s near death this past winter, my brother-in-law Stan’s serious health problems with the infection in his hip and pacemaker, and my mom’s deteriorating health and eventual death have all adversely affected me. I have a feeling it is going to be a while before I get back to normal.

My assigned psalm for the week is Psalm 62. Verse 3 is a good description of the way I feel, “How long will you assault me? Would all of you throw me down – this leaning wall, this tottering fence?” It seems like only a matter of time that my fence will topple because of the winds that are blowing. But my reading also included Isaiah 51:3, “The Lord will surely comfort Zion and will look with compassion on all her ruins; he will make her deserts like Eden, her wastelands like the garden of the Lord. Joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and the sound of singing.” This gives me hope that even if the circumstances of life assail me and knock me down, God’s love will eventually restore me and bring back the joy and gladness for which I yearn.

Heaven on Earth?

Thursday 10/20/2016 6:07 AM

My mom is dying. She fell again this past weekend and broke her other hip. She is not strong enough to sustain another surgery so she has been placed in hospice care. I hope to visit her this weekend to say my final goodbyes. She is eager to die and be with God.

Often, when I speak with Christians, they speak of being blessed by God. By that they generally mean they have experienced good health throughout their lives and have not had to suffer any major catastrophes or calamities. They have had gainful employment through the years and have accumulated enough wealth to look forward to retirement where they can enjoy a life of ease and comfort. There is a sense in which they feel as if they are experiencing heaven here on earth. I wonder if Christians will be surprised if they find out heaven is not living in a gilded mansion with an ocean view, sitting around eating bonbons all day without the fear of gaining weight.

We are only a couple of weeks away from an election and this election season has been one to remember. Many Christians I know are supporting Donald Trump for President, who wants to “Make America Great Again.” By that he means we have a strong economy where everyone is employed and living the American dream. Everything seems to be tied up in economic security for the people and throwing off the chains of government so the free market of capitalism can prevail. I’m a little surprised there aren’t more Christians concerned about issues of justice for those who are oppressed by the current system or issues of honesty, integrity, and ethical behavior. We live in a world where there is only relative truth, no absolute truth, so I guess those kinds issues cannot be addressed because there is no consensus of what is right or what is wrong.

Today I read an excerpt from “The Second Epistle of Clement.” It says, “No one of the righteous received fruit speedily, but awaiteth it. For if God gave shortly the recompense of the righteous, straightway we would be exercising ourselves in business, not in godliness; for we would seem to be righteous while pursuing not what is godly but what is gainful.” With all the old style English language it is difficult to ascertain the exact meaning of things but what caught my eye is the concept of Christians exercising themselves in business rather than godliness and seeming to be righteous while pursuing what is gainful, not what is godly. Those who wear the cloak of Christianity but have little or no evidence of grace, mercy, or godliness in their lives put off many people who are not Christians. They seem concerned only about themselves and their needs and desires without thinking of the effects of their lifestyle or policies may have on others. If Christians worked as hard to act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly as they do to be “successful” in business or politics I think the world would be a different place, and better.

What a Wonderful World!

Friday 10/7/2016 4:15 AM

Tuesday Jaci babysat for Marlowe as she often does. I came home after school and since she had woken from her nap so I took her for a short walk, as is my habit. I carried her down the street and around the block stopping to marvel at everything. We appreciated roses, hibiscus, camellias, bougainvillea, birds of paradise, canna lilies, impatiens, the bark on trees, the leaves of trees, ants crawling up the trees, barking dogs, birds, stop signs, fences, light poles, water meter covers, cars, trucks, storm drains, people going home from work, etc. The things we stopped to notice had different colors, textures, modes of transport, and sounds, each of them unique in their own way. On our way back home we said goodbye to each thing and thanked God for the opportunity to see and to experience it.

My reading today included Psalm 105 and these words, “Give praise to the Lord, proclaim his name; make known among the nations what he has done. Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts. Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice. … Remember the wonders he has done, his miracles, and the judgments he pronounced, you his servants, the descendants of Abraham, his chosen ones, the children of Jacob.” Too often I rush through life and fail to see and appreciate the wonderful world that surrounds me. I sometimes will celebrate the beauty and the wonder of the natural world but I seldom truly appreciate the machines and the infrastructure of modern society, all the work of mankind, to whom God gave the ability to imagine and create. And even more troublesome is my failure to appreciate the beauty of people I meet each day, each uniquely created in the image of God.

I also read an excerpt from Lament for a Son, by Nicholas Wolterstorff, in which he laments the death of his son Eric at the age of twenty-five. He writes, “We took him too much for granted. Perhaps we all take each other too much for granted. The routines of life distract us; our own pursuits make us oblivious; our anxieties and sorrows, unmindful. The beauties of the familiar go unremarked. We do not treasure each other enough.”

I pray that I will have the eyes to see, a heart to appreciate, and a mouth that acknowledges the people and the things around me with whom I make contact each day. Thank God for this beautiful world and for the wonders that can be found within it if I will only stop to observe and appreciate.

Night Praise

Thursday 10/6/2016 5:59 AM

During the first eight or nine months of this year I experienced a feeling of being separated from God. Circumstances in my life and my own poor choices sent me down a dark road where God seemed silent and uncaring. Over the course of the past few weeks things seem to be turning around, my outlook on life is improving, and I am beginning to experience an awareness of God’s presence with me again. This is not the first time in my life I have experienced this but it is the longest.

I’m not sure why this happens to me nor do I know how or why that feeling of separation from God goes away. If I knew its cause I would do everything in my power to avoid it and if I knew how to make it leave I would not wallow in the doldrums for months at a time. Sometimes I can see a purpose in the things I experience, even the unpleasant things, however, this time I can see no purpose at all.

Today I read the following excerpt from Evelyn Underhill’s book, The Fruits of the Spirit. “There is always a night shift and sooner or later we are put on it. The praise does not cease with the fading of the light, but goes on through the spiritual night as well as the spiritual day. And if you are picked for the night shift – well, praise the Lord. Lift up your hands in the dark sanctuary of your soul when you are tempted to wonder what is the good of it all, and praise the Lord! And the Lord, maker of heaven and earth, will bless you from Zion.” God obviously picked me for the night shift. I’m afraid I didn’t lift up my hands in the darkness and praise God as Underhill suggests. I spent most of my time wondering what the good of it all was. I need to learn to praise God in the night of my soul as much, or more, as I do during the day.

The Best of Times, The Worst of Times

Sunday 9/25/2016 5:06 AM

This year has been a difficult one for me. My regular routine of running was thrown off because for some strange reason, after being sick for a couple of days, I was unable to run more than a half mile without stopping to catch my breath or to recover from dizziness. I stopped having my regular devotional time, spending time with God only once per week or so. My nephew nearly died after contracting the H1N1 flu virus. My brother-in-law had a serious infection in his hip and was in critical condition for four months in the spring. This summer my mom’s ability to care for herself has deteriorated to the point where she needed to be placed in a memory care unit. The confluence of these events led me down a dark path where God seemed absent, or distant at best.

The theme for my devotions this week is “When Nothing Goes Our Way,” a fitting theme for a year like mine. My reading today included Isaiah 41:10 and Isaiah 43:1-3, passages that remind me of God’s presence with me through the difficult times of life. These same passages came to mind a few weeks ago when I made a pledge to start having regular devotions again.

The author of my devotional book, Rueben Job, writes these words, “There are times in our lives when nothing seems to go as we planned. Times when day after day we are faced with difficulties and darkness no matter how much we long for lighter loads and light for our pathway. There are other times when we come from a spectacular high moment and suddenly find ourselves hanging on to hope by our fingernails. … One of the best times for us to cultivate the nearness of God emerges when nothing is going our way. Such an experience may sharpen our ability to see God at work in our midst and in our lives. Remember that we are not alone when things are not going our way, as we are not alone when things are going our way. Each situation gives us opportunity to pay attention to God’s presence and call for God’s help.”

As quickly as my ability to run was taken from me last winter, it seems to have returned a few weeks ago and I have resumed my morning routine. My devotions, too, have become more consistent and meaningful. I’m not sure what God wanted me to learn through all the events of the past year but Rueben Job’s reminder that I am not alone in both the good times and the bad times is a good one for me to remember.

Compassion for Others

Thursday 9/22/2016 6:29 AM

The theme of my devotions this week is compassion for others. To check to see how compassionate I am, one of the readings in my devotional material suggested I ask these questions: Do I sense the presence of the suffering Christ in others? Do I share their pain? Am I aware of their vulnerability? Do I know that the need for mercy is often hidden under a mask of self-sufficiency, coldness, and indifference? While my answer to these questions varies with time and with different individuals, overall I would say that my compassion meter has become more sensitive in the last several years. My biggest fault in this regard is a lack of action, not a lack of feeling.

In her book The Cup of Our Life, Joyce Rupp notes some of the common characteristics she has observed in compassionate people. She writes, “They often have significant suffering or painful life events of their own, a generous heart, a non-blaming and non-judging mind, a passionate spirit, a willingness to sacrifice their life, a keen empathy, and a love that embraces the oneness of all creation.” When I consider my life and my way of living I feel as if some of those characteristics have grown in me while others are woefully absent. I long to be a more compassionate person instead of a cynical person. I have a long way to go.

Compassion is a quality that seems to be in short supply in the United States today. Our stress on the rights of the individual as a nation allows for a lot of individual freedom, which we regularly celebrate, but it comes with a steep price, a lack of empathy and compassion for others. Rupp writes, “Compassionate people often inspire others to be compassionate.” I want to be that kind of person.

Obfuscating the Obvious

Saturday 9/3/2016 5:57 AM

This past summer was a big disappointment for me. During the spring I was having difficulty maintaining a regular discipline of running and spending quiet time meditating each morning. I seemed to have some sort of difficulty with my breathing that kept me from running more than a half mile or so without stopping and I simply stopped my habit of reading the Bible, meditating on what it said, and writing in my journal. I would do it maybe twice a week but not the regular routine that it has been for me for the last twenty or so years of my life. When I did run, I struggled, and when I had my devotions, they were dry and, for the most part, meaningless.

As the summer began I pledged to run more frequently and return to my regular habit of a morning quiet time. My renewed resolve lasted approximately one week before I fell back into my newly acquired habit of no running or quiet time. It seems I choose to check my Facebook page, play online Scrabble with friends, do the online Los Angeles Times crossword puzzle, and read online news articles rather than exercising my body and spirit.

I began my running routine on Labor Day weekend in 1978. I began slowly and worked my way up to running four miles each day. Since it is Labor Day weekend I decided to start fresh this morning, hoping to tap into the same reservoir of resolve I had 38 years ago. I ran a full two miles this morning without having to stop for breath and I had my devotions. One day complete for a different future.

Part of my devotional reading today included an excerpt from Reformed Spirituality, by Howard Rice. He writes, “The biblical promise that if we truly seek, we shall find God is the basis for the journey of the spiritual life. In spite of the difficulties along the way, the times of dryness when nothing seems to be happening, the discouragement and distraction that come to us all, and the times of falling back and wondering if we have made any progress at all, the journey is one from which we cannot turn back. The testimony of the saints of all the ages is that the journey is worth it; that God really is love; and that the love God offers is the most important reality that can be known by any of us. Such knowledge enables a person to have tremendous power to take what happens, to surmount great difficulties, and to grow in the face of tragedy and deep disappointment. The fruit of the spiritual life is not easily attained. The process of growing in grace is sometimes difficult. It requires persistence which never comes easily for any of us.”

I can attest to the difficulties of maintaining a spiritual discipline. The main difficulty for me seems to be that I lack the necessary persistence. I find that the discipline necessary is more difficult to exercise the older I get. Somehow I always believed that, as I aged, my walk with God would become easier because of my experience. The biggest problem I have is the things that always seemed to be black and white when I was younger now seemed tinged by varying shades of gray. Things I was sure about as a young man I now question, including the way that God would have me interact with those with whom I have contact on a regular basis.

I once had a professor who criticized a proof I had written by saying that I was obfuscating the obvious. Sometimes I feel like my insight into scripture and how God would have me live in the world are being similarly obfuscated. What once seemed clear is now obscure. I guess I should trust God to lead me through this time of discouragement and distraction just like I trusted him to lead me when things seemed clearer. I need to remain persistent.

Image and Likeness

Wednesday 8/10/2016 7:08 AM

I have had a beard for most of my adult life. I keep it well trimmed and sometimes have a goatee, but they are always short beards. I am in the process of growing out my beard to honor a friend and former student who recently lost a long battle with cancer. He had cancer in his mouth at one point and his face had been scarred by surgery so he grew a long beard to hide it. I always told him I was envious of his long beard and suggested that someday I was going to grow mine out so I could be like him. I wish the circumstances were different but now is the time.

A few weeks ago I was a guest at a Young Lives camp in Lake City, Michigan. Young Lives is a ministry to teen moms directed by a good friend, who had invited Jaci and I to come. Like every youth camp they have activities for the moms to do during their free time including a zip line, a go cart track, a high ropes course, swimming, kayaking, paddle-boarding, and so on. One afternoon we went on the high ropes course with some of the campers and their leaders. We put on the required harness and helmet before we began. My helmet was red. Most of the course entailed walking along a cable suspended twenty feet above the ground and ended with a jump off of a platform while someone below belayed you to the ground. At the bottom those who finished were congratulated by others who had completed the course themselves or were simply observing and providing encouragement to those attempting to complete the course. When I finished I received their congratulations and then someone told me that, when I was on the course, those below were referring to me as the skinny Santa Claus. It seems that in growing my beard longer I am taking on the likeness of Santa Claus.

I thought of Genesis 1:27, “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” The Bible says that all people are made in the image of God. I believe that all people have dignity and worth simply because they carry the image of God. I also recognize that all people do not reflect that image accurately. The God of the Bible is revealed as a God of love but it is obvious that love is not evidenced in all the interactions of people with one another or with their environment.

I recently read an excerpt from the book Climbing the Sycamore Tree, by Ann Hagmann, in which she recounts the story of two men who were rushing to catch a subway on Christmas Eve. As he turned a corner while running across the platform, the first man bumped into a young, disabled man selling newspapers, strewing the newspapers and the boy’s other belongings everywhere. The man cursed at the boy for delaying him and ran on to catch his train. The second man stopped, helped the boy pick up the papers, and bought one. He gave the boy five dollars, told him to keep the change, and wished him a Merry Christmas. As he left to catch his train the boy called after him, asking if he was Jesus Christ. Embarrassed, the second man said, “No, but I try to be like him.” Hagmann writes, “Both men are made in the image of God, but only one man is living in the likeness of Jesus Christ. It is not enough as a Christian to claim being made in our Creator’s image; we are called to be conformed to the likeness of Christ.”

While always having a beard, it is in growing it that I am conforming to the likeness of Santa Claus. How much more important for me, and other Christians, while being made in the image of God, to grow in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. Then the people of the world will see the unadulterated image of God, the likeness of Christ.

Blue Spruce

Friday 7/15/2016 5:00 AM

I am sitting on the deck at my daughter’s house in Michigan, enjoying the early morning hours after my run. In the back of their yard are four pine trees. I believe they are blue spruce. When they first moved here ten years ago the trees were so dense one could see nothing through them. Over the years the trees have grown and thinned out so that one can now see squirrels and birds in the inner branches of the tree and blue sky on the other side. I’m not sure if they are suffering from some sort of disease or if the thinning of the foliage is a natural consequence of aging.

My life seems to mirror the lives of those trees. When I was younger I was concerned about what others may think of me or of my actions. I put up a nice façade but gave few people a view of what I was feeling or thinking about things. When I turned thirty-eight I began sharing my thoughts with a small group of men every Friday morning and over the years I shared more and more intimate details of my life. After a few years of that I began sharing more openly with the broader Christian community, sharing my failures and frustrations, my hopes and my disappointments. I found that my life resonated with many others, that we all have a common experience; the only difference is in the details.

Too often in the Christian community we want others to think we have it all together. We spruce up our lives, put on a happy face, and pretend everything is wonderful when inside we are full of broken branches and dead twigs. People in the world need to see real people experiencing real emotions, not little happy robots saying, “Praise God! Hallelujah!” all the time.

Brennan Manning says it well in the book Reflections for Ragamuffins. “What the world longs for from the Christian religion is the witness of men and women daring enough to be different, humble enough to make mistakes, wild enough to be burned in the fire of love, real enough to make others see how unreal they are.” We like to spruce ourselves up, making our lives look as if we have it all together. God wants mature blue spruce trees, with our broken interior lives open for all to see and with room for the light of his healing love to shine through.

Boldness

Monday 7/4/2016 5:41 AM

Last Saturday one of my nieces posted a comment on Facebook noting that Garrison Keillor made his last appearance on A Prairie Home Companion. She noted that, in addition to being an entertainer, “he has also been an instigator and provocateur for the plight of humanity.” In the same post she acknowledged the death of Elie Wiesel, about whom the same could be said. She queried, “Who will stand in those gaps?” and her husband, who is also wise, responded, “You!”

I’m quite certain Garrison Keillor and Elie Wiesel did not sit down one day and say, “I think I will become an instigator and provocateur for the plight of humanity.” They simply saw the injustices that are rampant in our world and responded in a way that was consistent with their own gifts and talents. People were drawn to the truth of their message, the humility with which it was delivered, and the consistency with which they lived their lives.

The theme of my devotions this week is boldness. The scriptures I have read over the past couple of days include the prayers of the disciples after having been arrested by the religious authorities of their day and being told to remain silent about Jesus. After being released from custody they met together to pray for boldness to speak the truth and then went out and spoke. Today people who speak out against racial discrimination, social injustices, corporate greed, and the like are often castigated by the established church community and are labeled as socialists, communists, etc. I wonder how the church has wandered so far from the gospel Jesus preached, which included compassion for the poor, justice for the oppressed, and acceptance for the alien. Of course, I shouldn’t be surprised, since it seems the organized religion of Jesus’ day had done the same. It was against that hypocrisy that Jesus was the most vocal.

My reading also included this excerpt from Spiritual Preparation for Christian Leadership, by E. Glenn Hinson. “The church and the world need saints. They need saints more than they need more canny politicians, more brilliant scientists, more grossly overpaid executives and entrepreneurs, more clever entertainers and talk-show hosts. Are there any on the horizon now that Mother Teresa is no longer with us, either of the extraordinary or of the ordinary kind? I think there are. Maybe I should say that there are saints ‘aborning’ by God’s grace. There are those whose lives have been irradiated by God’s grace, who seek not to be safe but to be faithful, who have learned how to get along in adversity, who are joyful, who are dream filled, and above all, who are prayerful. That is what the church and the world need most. It begins with you.”

I see the injustices that are so evident in our world but I feel overwhelmed and completely inadequate to “stand in the gap.” After all, who would pay attention to a math teacher in an insignificant school buried in metropolitan Los Angeles County? I try to speak the truth and to live consistently, with humility, but my voice gets lost in the cacophony of the LA culture. E. Glenn Hinson suggests that I need to be faithful, learn how to get along in adversity, be joyful, and to be dream filled and prayerful. That is my goal but it seems to have little, if no, effect. I have a feeling my niece feels the same way. She needs to hear the same message I did today, “It begins with you.”

Seeking Justice for the Oppressed

Saturday 6/18/2016 5:38 AM

When I observe the world in which I live and converse with my students it soon becomes obvious that there are glaring injustices and inequalities in our world today. When I read the Bible it urges me to love God above all and to love my neighbor as I love myself. It suggests that if I love God and neighbor then I will seek justice for the oppressed, I will feed the hungry, and visit those in prison.

While I have donated food for food banks, served dinners for the homeless at my church, led Bible studies in a federal penitentiary, done one-on-one mentoring of a young man incarcerated at a juvenile detention center near my home, make monthly donations for a local social justice cause, for a ministry to young single mothers, and to support the education and material needs for a child in Africa, it seems as if these actions on my part are merely a bit of salve to alleviate a symptom but do virtually nothing to cure the disease. How can I best seek justice for those oppressed?

When I think of the systemic changes that need to happen to address these issues it seems impossible. I have thought about running for political office to see if I could change oppressive policies but I abhor the current political climate in our country and it seems as if those who do enter the political realm soon become entangled in the mire and eventually become a part of the problem rather than a part of the solution.

Today I read an excerpt from A Wesleyan Spiritual Reader, by Reuben P. Job. He describes John Wesley as the most influential social reformer of his day and writes these words: “From the early days at Oxford until a few days before his death, Wesley was about the ministry of caring for the poor, the oppressed, and the imprisoned. And all of this while living a rigorous life of prayer, study, and reflection. This commitment to neighbor and passion to proclaim the gospel story was so great that John and Charles rode in a cart with a condemned prisoner so that they could sing and pray on the way to the hangman’s scaffold. Holy living is a direct result of and inseparable from a holy heart. To experience Christian perfection is to live as Jesus lived. It is to be obedient to the One proclaimed as Savior and Lord. … To know Christ and to be know by Christ means to walk with Christ in the everyday business of life.”

Somehow performing acts of mercy to alleviate this kind of suffering seems like addressing only half of the problem. Riding with a condemned prisoner to a hangman’s scaffold without addressing the reason why the prisoner felt compelled to commit the crime in the first place seems incomplete. That kind of action, while helpful to the person facing death alone, seems like it will only ensure that I will have another prisoner to accompany tomorrow. As a Christian, what is the best way to address the root causes of hunger, oppression, and injustice. What can I do today that will make hunger, oppression, and injustice things of the past?

Healing the World

Sunday 5/29/2016 7:32 AM

I live in a culture obsessed with individualism. Individual rights and freedoms are protected and cherished while any idea suggesting a responsibility to our community that involves the giving up of individual rights for the good of others results in accusations of one being a socialist a communist, or a Marxist. This idea has also crept into the church. One’s faith is considered to be a private affair between oneself and God. It is believed that one can worship God by oneself at home and still be a good Christian. Any suggestion of being responsible to a larger community of faith or that of being subject to the discipline of a church body is met with resistance, the church often being accused of simply wanting to exert their power or of wanting the money of their parishioners.

Jesus summarized the law by saying we are to love God above all and to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. James emphasizes the importance of works of mercy accompanying our faith. It is one thing to say we love God but he suggests that a litmus test for our love of God is to see if we are showing love for our neighbor through concrete acts of mercy, of giving of ourselves for the good of others.

Today I read a quote by Kent Groff, from his book, Journeyman. He writes, “Without the discipline of community, solitude degenerates into self-absorption and isolation; without the discipline of solitude, community degenerates into codependency and enmeshment. … The community of faith is where we learn the language of love. And the church uses two kinds of language – the verbal language of liturgy, scripture, and sermon, and the body language of sacraments, gestures, and social outreach. … Being a part of a life-giving faith community is like a healthy foot getting directional signals from the rest of the body. A life-giving church is one where human brokenness is lifted up like bread and wine to be held, and touched, and blessed – to heal the world.”

Sometimes I feel as if the church stresses solitude to the detriment of community. We have become self-absorbed and isolated from the community in which we live. We build both literal and figurative walls around our church to protect ourselves from what we consider to be the evil world around us. We isolate ourselves from the brokenness around us, rationalizing to ourselves that the problems are too big for us to solve alone. We huddle in groups of like-minded people while we drink our coffee after worship while a visitor that is different from us stands alone, observing us.

I believe we need to have more stress on our responsibility to our community, to show the love of God and the richness of his mercy through our actions to those who are not like us. We need to have the courage to reach out to touch the brokenness that is so evident in our world and, as Groff suggests, to lift it up “like bread and wine to be held, and touched, and blessed – to heal the world.”

Living with Randomness and Chaos

Saturday 5/7/2016 6:49 AM

I often hear people saying that God has a wonderful plan for their lives. Their concept of what that wonderful plan entails usually involves them having what they consider to be the perfect life: a good job, healthy relationships, good health, and so on. They see their life as something like a road that God has traced into a map book, a unique plan just for them. The difficulty with that type of thinking is that when life turns ugly and their wonderful plan isn’t coming to fruition they think they have somehow “backslidden” and do their best to get back onto the road of God’s will.

When I look at the world and people’s lives it seems to be quite haphazard. Success and failure, sickness and health, and safety and tragedy all seem to visit a person randomly rather than causally. A person with little skill or experience may be at the right place at the right time and get their dream job while someone else, with more talent, and experience galore is passed by because they are not rightly connected with those making decisions. One of two people walking next to each other down a sidewalk stops to tie his shoe while the other continues on and is killed by a collapsing crane at a construction site. It is difficult to explain that kind of randomness in the world. Christians often say it was God’s will but that kind of talk rings hollow to those affected by the tragedy or by those who do not believe. After all, what kind of malicious being is that kind of a god who would allow such a thing?

Our universe and the world in which we live seem to be chaotic, driven by randomness and chance. As one who believes in God, how am I to live and cope in such a world and maintain my faith? If my life isn’t mapped out perfectly, but driven by randomness, what path am I too take? Joyce Rupp writes these words in her book The Cup of Our Life. “Guidance is about hearing the inner voice in us that keeps us closely connected with God’s ways, giving us direction for our lives. It’s not that our lives are all mapped out for us by God. The path is rarely a clear, visible, neatly defined one. No, rather Divine Wisdom helps us to discover, each step of the way, how we are to be a loving person in our world with our chipped, flawed condition.” I believe Rupp would argue that I do not have a specific path to follow in order to be in God’s will. If I remain closely connected to God I can choose whatever path I wish, if I walk that path with love for others, knowing that God accompanies me along the way. That kind of perspective is one that provides a great deal of freedom and peace.

Share the Pain

Friday 4/29/2016 4:20 AM

I hear a number of Christians talking about what they call God’s perfect plan for their life. It often includes finding a perfect spouse who satisfies their every need, having a perfect family with cute, obedient children, having a perfect fulfilling job that pays well, and so on. Churches and pastors often feed into this view and suggest that, if you become a Christian and can find God’s perfect will for your life, all your troubles will disappear and your life will be wonderful. There are a lot of churches filled with parishioners that have that view and, at the same time, there are large numbers of people leaving the church when they discover that their troubles don’t all disappear.

Today I read these words by Rueben Job, “Eugene Peterson pinpoints the trouble with praying: We are often asked to respond in ways that we never intended when we first began to pray. It matters little where or in what century we are called to live out our Christian life. The witness of those who have gone before informs my own experience, telling me that we are often taken to places where we receive unwarranted accolades and to other places where we receive unwarranted suffering and pain. A disciple, one who chooses to be student and follower of Jesus, is not a ‘self-made person’ and is not on a personally designed journey. The key word in this theme is taken. Just as Jesus was taken into the wilderness after his baptism, so we are taken into the experiences of discipleship that we do not necessarily choose for our selves. We choose to follow Jesus and then Jesus chooses where we will go. It is that simple. The saving truth here is not that we are taken where we do not want to go; rather the saving truth is that we are not alone. There is One who leads us and goes with us. Jesus arose from baptism and ‘the Spirit immediately drove him out into the wilderness’. But even there the angels (messengers of God) were with him and tended to his needs. While we may not choose the place to God, we can choose to remain with the One who sends us and there find comfort, companionship, grace, peace, and joy.”

In his book Seeking the Face of God, Gary Thomas addresses the same issue. “Those who have gone before us have left a clear witness: We may seek God or we may seek ease, but we cannot seek both. The road we travel is anything but easy. It is true that God loves us and has a wonderful plan for our lives, but it is equally true that the plan is often fraught with tension and uncertainty, and with emotional, spiritual, and physical pain.”

I believe that those within the family of faith need to represent the life we experience with God in a more realistic way. We need to share our own struggles, doubts, fears, and pain with others. This will accomplish two things; we will accurately represent the life of a believer as one who struggles with God and we will be able to encourage one another and share the pain and hurt that is such a big part of life. When we put on a happy face and build a façade that suggests that our lives are all wonderful we make people believe they could never be good enough to be a part of the church at large because their lives don’t measure up. In reality, we all struggle with our faith, we all experience pain and disappointment, and we all fail to live the life God calls us to live. What we need to share is the good news of the gospel; that God is loving and compassionate and does not leave us to wallow in the messiness of this world alone. He accompanies us through it all by embodying himself in the lives of other believers. It’s time the church becomes the hands, feet, and arms of love and compassion, seeking out those who are hurting and wrapping them with that love.

Peacemaking

Friday 3/25/2016 4:22 AM

Today I read these words of Henri Nouwen, “Peacemaking must be the primary focus of all political leaders, whether in or out of power. But the temptations to personal power are too intense to be overcome by our insistently self-centered egos. Therefore, the peace must be God’s peace, a peace that is freely available when we turn inwardly to Jesus. Jesus is the model of the ultimate peacemaker, always pointing to Abba as the ultimate source of peace, justice, goodness, mercy, love, and creativity. In order to claim peace, we must relinquish our own private agendas and let ourselves be claimed by God.”

I would argue that peacemaking must be not only the primary focus of political leaders, it should also be one of the primary foci of the Christian community. Too often we take our lead from the world and emulate its way of doing things as we interact within the church and with the world. It seems the evangelical church has become a big political machine, looking to protect the interests of the church and of Christians. It looks to restore “family values” using any means necessary and become messengers of hate and bigotry in the process. We focus on our rights being stripped away and seek to restore our society to the way it once was, a simpler, kinder time we remember from our childhood.

God’s call to me as a Christian is to seek justice for those who are oppressed and beaten down, for those without a voice. I am to give up my own rights and seek for the restoration of rights for the disenfranchised in our society. We need to step away from the seats of power and prestige to make way for those who have been too long ignored.

Am I Significant or an Accident?

Tuesday 4/5/2016 4:44 AM

A couple of years ago I read the book Our Mathematical Universe: My Quest for the Ultimate Nature of Reality, by Max Tegmark. Tegmark suggests that our universe is simply a mathematical structure and living things, including humans, are nothing more than extremely complicated braids in the fabric of this structure. At the end of the book Tegmark addresses the issue of human significance or insignificance. After all, if we are nothing but a braid in the fabric of reality why are we necessary or perhaps even important in the grand scheme of things?

Tegmark writes, “It was the cosmic vastness that made me feel insignificant to start with. Yet those grand galaxies are visible and beautiful to us – and only to us. It’s only we who give them any meaning, making our small planet the most significant place in our entire observable Universe. If we didn’t exist, all those galaxies would be just a meaningless and gigantic waste of space.” It was this same kind of feeling that led Lee Strobel to become a Christian, which he documents in his book The Case for a Creator. Strobel looked at the odds of having a planet in the habitable zone of a star, tilted at the perfect angle allowing for even warming and cooling of the planet, with a moon at exactly the right distance so that a total eclipse of the sun allows us to verify the general theory of relativity, placed in a galactic arm in such a way that we can see other galaxies through our telescopes, etc. He concluded that the odds were too small to have it all be an accident and, consequently, came to the conclusion that a being outside our universe must have made it. Tegmark claims we give the Universe meaning; Strobel would argue that our meaning and significance comes from being an intentional creation of God.

Tegmark goes on to suggest that at our stage of human development we have the technology to self-destruct or to seed the cosmos with life. He then writes, “If we end up going the life route rather than the death route, then in a distant future, our cosmos will be teeming with life that all traces back to what we do here and now. I have no idea how we’ll be thought of, but I’m sure that we won’t be remembered as insignificant.” I wonder how Tegmark gets from the viewpoint that he is nothing but a complicated braid in a mathematical structure to having the need to have significance? The two viewpoints seem incompatible to me. I think I would like to sit down over coffee with him to discuss his views so I could better understand.

Like Strobel, I believe the universe and everything in it was created and is sustained by a personal entity, which I call God, who is outside of our known universe. He is a relational being and desires to be in relationship with everything he has made, including me. Humans made my car and it runs best if I change the oil regularly, perform routine maintenance, and follow other suggestions made in the owner’s manual. Similarly, my life works best if I live in a healthy relationship with God, with others, and with the whole of creation. If I separate myself from God, live in conflict with others, or exploit the environment in which I live, my life, and the lives of others are impoverished as a result. If I want to experience life to the fullest degree I need to acknowledge God, look to the needs of others, and protect the environment around me.

In the book Abba’s Child, Brennan Manning writes, “Living in the awareness of the risen Jesus is not a trivial pursuit for the bored and lonely or a defense mechanism enabling us to cope with the stress and sorrow of life. It is the key that unlocks the door to grasping the meaning of existence. All day and every day we are being reshaped into the image of Christ. Everything that happens to us is designed to this end. Nothing that exists can exist beyond the pale of his presence, nothing is irrelevant to it, nothing is without significance in it.” While I have no more evidence of the existence of God than Tegmark has of the evidence of his Universe as a mathematical structure, I certainly do not have the same struggle he has with my own significance and with the significance of others. From my perspective we are all made and loved by God, which gives us ultimate significance.

Living on the Wild Side

Wednesday 3/16/2016 4:40 AM

I have been reading Psalm 25 each day this week. The beginning of the psalm refers to hope in two different verses, “No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame, … Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.” In his book Resurrection to Pentecost, Robert F. Morneau divides hope into two different categories, what he calls tame hopes and wild hopes. He writes,

Many of our tame hopes are fulfilled on a daily basis; the hope that the sun will shine, or that the pay check will arrive as planned, or that we will get sufficient nourishment for the day. Though one is disappointed once in awhile, our anticipation of these ‘small’ things, though not insignificant, is frequently realized.

By contrast, some of these same issues for people in other cultures are ‘wild hopes.’ Many of our sisters and brothers do not receive a salary nor do they get three meals a day nor does the sun of freedom shine in their lives. Born into poverty or oppressed by social systems, these people find little joy and peace. If they are fortunate in avoiding violence they still must struggle with resentment and bitterness in their awareness of the consumption and materialism of the wealthy.

We must pray like Jesus that hope might be restored and that the earth might be recast. Only then gift of the Holy Spirit can empower us to trust in the future and to assume our rightful responsibility for the common good. Renewing the face of the earth is the work of the Holy Spirit through those people who say yes to being the Spirit’s agent of knowledge, love, and kindness. Our hope, wild or tame, is grounded in God’s promise of presence. Herein is our joy and peace.

Psalm 25 is a good reminder for me that my hopes, both tame and wild, must be grounded in God if they are to be realized. I also need to be open to the guidance of the Holy Spirit and being taught things that will run counter to the wisdom of our modern, Western culture by that same Spirit. It is God’s job to recast our world into the kingdom of God but he uses his people, including me, through the leading of his Spirit, as his agents in the world to seek the common good of our neighbor, not just our own good. Too often I get caught up in my own little work-a-day world of pursuing the tame hopes of the next paycheck or putting food on the table for my family while ignoring the prodding of God’s Spirit to pursue the wild hopes of God’s kingdom: love, kindness, and peace for all mankind. I pray that I, along with all the people of God, will have the courage to live on the wild side.