Friday 3/16/18 5:49 AM
Over the course of the last couple of years I have experienced what I call a crisis of faith. I have doubts about things that I once had great confidence. These doubts arose in part because of circumstances that were difficult to explain, and I began to ask that age-old question of God, “Why?” My quiet time of reading scripture and reflection also dwindled, either a consequence of or the cause of my doubt.
In his book That the World May Believe, Hans Küng suggests that questions of faith are not like riddles or crossword puzzles that, once solved, everything becomes clear and simple. He writes, “It is completely different with faith. Here we have, not human truth which men can state and understand, but God’s truth, which goes far beyond any statement or understanding of man’s. The faith never becomes clear. The faith remains obscure. Not until we enter glory will it be otherwise … Until then there will always be more difficulties coming up, more doubts coming up: there are bound to be. Doubt is the shadow cast by faith. One does not always notice it, but it is always there, though concealed. At any moment it may come into action. there is no mystery of the faith which is immune to doubt.”
I understand that doubts will always be there. What troubles me most is the fact that things in which I once had great confidence and assurance now seem to be up for question. Küng suggests that the shadows of doubt have always been there. I just hadn’t taken notice; they were concealed. I liked it better when the doubt was concealed. This living in the shadows of doubt is difficult and troubling to me. I want to live beyond a shadow of a doubt.