Life is Grace

Saturday 12/22/18 5:36 AM

Yesterday I went to visit Adam Cram, a friend who is recuperating from a serious motorcycle accident. He is in Fontana and it took about an hour and twenty minutes to get there. I rode my motorcycle and had a great view of the San Gabriel Mountains throughout the trip. I was traveling the same freeway on which he had his accident and I was hyperaware as I rode along the freeway. My senses were on high alert and it seemed like I experienced the things along the way at a deeper level than normal. I often had this sensation when I ride my motorcycle and I often find that I breathe a prayer of thanks to God for my life and for this wonderful world in which I live.

This morning I went to the gym for my daily workout. I went about three and a quarter miles on an elliptical trainer, my substitute for an early morning run since injuring my hip. When I exercise, I have much the same sense of heightened awareness of my body and of the things around me. Being confined to a gym somewhat dulls the awareness because of the bright lights and noise, but I listen to music that draws my mind to God and a close my eyes to block out the light. This allows me the opportunity to hear God speak when I have a heightened awareness of his presence.

Today I read a quote by Frederick Buechner in his book Now and Then that expresses the same idea. “… if I were called upon to state in a few words the essence of everything I was trying to say … it would be something like this: Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery it is. In the boredom and pain of it no less than in the excitement and gladness: touch taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace.”

God has given me a mind and personality that afford me the opportunity to stop, focus, and listen to the events and circumstances in which I find myself and to see them as a great gift of God. It is easier to see God in the good things that come my way but, for the last couple of years God is allowing me to see the movement of God in the difficult and bad things I experience and that my friends experience, things like Adam’s accident. As Buechner points out, life is grace indeed.

Time Marches On

Friday 12/21/18 4:30 AM

I think about the slow, inexorable march of time quite frequently. Today is winter solstice, my favorite day of the year, marking the southernmost declination of the sun due to the tilt of the earth on its axis. Even though the earth is hurtling through space at over sixty-six thousand miles per hour, it takes a year to circumnavigate the sun. Each time I experience, or hear about, an earthquake I think of the imperceptible movement of tectonic plates, moving at about the same rate my fingernails grow, that, over time move entire continents thousands of miles and raise mountain ranges to heights of thousands of feet. The fields of astronomy and geology illustrate what I believe to be a universal truth that spans multiple disciplines of science, and ultimately, human life as well. In the short term there seems to be no change at all but, given time, the processes of nature effect great change.

I think God works the same way in people’s lives. I am currently halfway through my forty-second year of teaching, nearing the end of my teaching career. As I have progressed through my career there has been an unchanging routine: get up, exercise, spend time reflecting on God and my life, eat breakfast, shower, go to school, teach my classes, prepare for the next day, come home to spend time with family over dinner, correct papers, go to bed, … repeat. Of course, over the years my life has changed dramatically. I got married, had children, went back to school to get a higher degree, raised my children, interacted with friends, saw my children mature and leave home to start their own lives, became a grandfather ten times over, … and so on. Each day seemed the same but, over time, there has been great change.

I live in a culture that is fast-paced and changing rapidly. We have grown accustomed to having immediate results to problems and have little patience for anything that requires time. If people start a job, there are few who are willing to start at the ground floor and work their way up. They expect a six-figure salary with huge responsibilities from the beginning and quickly become disillusioned when that doesn’t happen. Relationships suffer because we expect deep interpersonal relationships without doing any of the hard work of working through the stresses and messes that are inevitable in any relationship. We are quick to move on to a different person rather than weathering the storm and coming out stronger because of it.

Abraham Joshua Heschel addresses this issue in his book Man Is Not Alone: A Philosophy of Religion. He writes, “Many of us are willing to embark upon any adventure, except to go into stillness and to wait, to place all the wealth of wisdom in the secrecy of the soil, to sow our own soul for a seed in that tract of land allocated to every life which we call time - and to let the soul grow beyond itself. Faith is the fruit of a seed planted in the depth of a lifetime.”

I have a tendency to want to see results of my efforts immediately. Unfortunately, in teaching, as in most other occupations, that kind of immediate result is seldom achieved. The changes that occur in the lives of my students, and in my life as their teacher, only occur slowly with the passing of time. My effectiveness as a teacher, or as a parent or grandparent, can seldom be seen in the short term, it requires a lifetime of consistent, usually boring, effort. It is only by being faithful in the day-to-day routines of life that I can bring about the changes in my own life, in the lives of my students, and in the lives of those I love. Lord, grant me patience to wait and the persistence to persevere through the boring routines of life.

Lord, Have Mercy

Thursday 12/13/18 3:43 AM

It is exam week and, as usual, my mind gets preoccupied with everything that has to be done and it is difficult to focus on my devotional time. My theme this week is the Jesus prayer. It is probably best if I just sit and repeat that prayer: Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me.

Today I am giving my last exam. Four of my classes have taken their exams and they are all graded and posted. I still have my largest class, and the most difficult one, to go. I am giving that exam first thing this morning and I plan to work on grading until I am done.

This semester is quite different from some of the other semesters I’ve taught. As an example, yesterday I gave an exam in a class that had twenty-four students remaining in it. Only thirteen of those enrolled came to take the final exam. Nearly half the class never even showed up. This is simply a microcosm of the entire semester. I make assignments, but the students do not do them, or they wait until the night before a test and attempt to do all the assignments in an hour or two, spending only minutes on each one. I have students who have missed on the day of an exam without any explanation whatsoever. I am puzzled by this behavior, but it seems like it is becoming the norm rather than the exception to the rule. I joke with my office mate that it’s time to retire, but it is frustrating when it seems that I have a higher opinion of my students’ abilities and I want more for them than they want for themselves. They seem unwilling to put forth any effort to better themselves or to learn.

I wonder if God has similar frustrations with me. Is he puzzled that I do little or nothing to effect my transformation into the image of Christ? Does he become frustrated when I do not complete the tasks I am assigned to do in the furthering of his kingdom? Do I hinder the work of the Holy Spirit in my life when I fail to regularly sit down to read the word of God and listen to what it is saying to me? I have a feeling the answer is yes on all counts.

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me.