God's Aquifer

Wednesday 12/11/19 4:47 AM

Jaci and I spent last weekend in Pacific Grove where I attended a math conference. We drove to the conference and the final miles took us through the beautiful Salinas Valley. We stopped at a rest stop where I read some of the history of the valley. Many years ago the river had water in it year-round, providing habitat for steelhead trout, salmon, beavers, and birds. During the rainy season the river would overflow its banks so that in places it was about a mile wide. This periodic flooding makes it a perfect valley for agriculture. Within the last hundred years or so increased water usage for irrigation purposes results in the river drying up during the dry season, obviously adversely affecting the salmon and steelhead trout populations since their spawning grounds can no longer be reached. There are large underground aquifers that are being tapped to irrigate the crops that are still grown in the valley. The signage at the rest area called the aquifers an underground river. It still contains a lot of water but it can’t be seen at the surface.

My devotional reading today is about hope and included Psalm 33:7, “(The Lord) gathers the waters of the sea into jars; he puts the deep into storehouses.” My first thought was of the underground aquifers in the Salinas Valley. At the surface things seem dry and barren but under the surface lies a huge reservoir of water that can be tapped to create life on the surface.

The past few years my life with God has been dry and barren. The circumstances of my life provided little hope for me and I felt as if my life was wasting away. Things seemed hopeless when looking around me but beneath the surface the reservoir of God’s love was waiting to be tapped. I need to be reminded that my circumstances are a poor resource for hope and joy but God’s lavish love and mercy can be tapped ignoring the surface conditions and drilling deeper.

Physical Therapy

Friday 12/6/19 6:27 AM

Yesterday I had a physical therapy appointment for my recovery from hip surgery. They gave me three new exercises to add to my list. All the new exercises, which include planks, are designed to strengthen my core. A strong core is essential for good body mechanics and takes some of the stress off one’s hips and back. The exercises I am doing now are preparing me for a good future.

My devotional theme for the week is preparing the way. Today’s readings included the ministry of John the Baptist and his explanation to the Pharisees about how he wasn’t the Messiah but was preparing the way for the Messiah. In a way he was like my physical therapist. He called the people to repentance, providing the means by which they could respond positively to the call of Jesus.

How best can I prepare the way for Jesus so, when others are around me, they will be enabled to respond positively to his call? In his book, The Wounded Healer, Henri Nouwen suggests the best thing I can do is to become a man of prayer. “For a man of prayer is, in the final analysis, the man who is able to recognize in others the face of the Messiah and make visible what was hidden, make touchable what was unreachable. The man of prayer is a leader precisely because through his articulation of God’s work within himself he can lead others out of confusion to clarification; through his compassion he can guide them out of the closed circuits of their in-groups to the wide world of humanity; and through his critical contemplation he can convert their convulsive destructiveness into creative work for the new world to come.”

If I am to be a good “physical therapist” pointing the way to Christ I must not neglect my own time spent with God. I need a strong core so that my walk in the world will be effective in pointing others to Jesus and lead them to a good future.

Chips and Morsels

Tuesday 11/26/19 3:45 AM

It’s the week of Thanksgiving and, coincidentally, also my birthday week. Thoughts of cramming potatoes, gravy, turkey, stuffing, pumpkin pie, cranberry sauce, and birthday cake down my throat with family and friends invade my brain. The airwaves and internet remind me of deals that are to be made on Black Friday and Cyber Monday so I can accumulate more and more and more and better and better and better and more and more and more and better and better and better.

Thanksgiving is later this year you know. There are less than three weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas, so we need to start our consuming and amassing of gifts even earlier this year. Get those decorations up! Time’s a wasting!

My devotional theme this week is Christ the King. Surely a king would enjoy the sumptuous feast and beautiful things that will be consumed and purchased this week. Kings are measured by their opulent lifestyle and their profligacy: the bigger, the more extravagant, the gaudier the better. What king would turn down an opportunity to feast and flaunt his wealth at a time like this?

Then I turned the page of my devotional book and read this poem by James Russell Lowell.

His Throne Is with the Outcast

I followed where they led,

And in a hovel rude,

With naught to fence the weather from his head

The King I sought for meekly stood;

A naked hungry child

Clung round his gracious knee,

And a poor hunted slave looked up and smiled

To bless the smile that set him free;

New miracles I saw his presence do,

No more I knew the hovel bare and poor,

The gathered chips into a woodpile grew

The broken morsel swelled to goodly store.

I knelt and wept: my Christ no more I seek.

His throne is with the outcast and the meek.

My previous thoughts were arrested, arraigned, tried, and convicted.

Why am I so easily held captive by the desires that never satisfy? Why am I always looking for more, and better, unsatisfied with what I have?

But then the gracious King reminded me that I am the naked child, hungry for love, who has found a knee on which to cling. I am the slave, hunted by cravings that will never satisfy, who has been freed from bondage by a loving smile of forgiveness. Gathered chips are the fuel for the flame he uses to warm my cold heart at a fire stoked from his growing woodpile. Broken morsels are the food he uses to nourish me at a bountiful table stocked from his goodly store.

Lord, keep me from being lured by the glitz and the glamour so prevalent during this time of the year as I celebrate your goodness to me. Give me your compassionate heart and your forgiving grace as I interact with those around me. Use the meager chips and morsels of my life to somehow provide hope, love, and justice for those abandoned by our society but loved by you, the outcast and the meek.

Love God, Love the World

Monday 11/18/19 6:08 AM

I know many Christians who long for the end of the world. They are discouraged by our dysfunctional world and long for Christ’s return, when evil will be punished and things will be set right. I long for the day when things will be set right too but an excerpt from In the Christian Spirit, by Louis Evely, that I read this morning gives a different viewpoint. He writes, “To believe in God is to believe in the salvation of the world. The paradox of our time is that those who believe in God do not believe in the salvation of the world, and those who believe in the future of the world do not believe in God. … To love God is to love the world. To love God passionately is to love the world passionately. To hope in God is to hope for the salvation of the world. … God seeks among us sons and daughters who resemble him enough, who love the world enough that he could send them into the world to save it.”

Most people recognize that things are not the way they should be in our world today. It seems that many who are the most concerned about righting social injustice, protecting fragile ecosystems, curbing global warming, etc., are atheists. At the same time many Christians do very little or even oppose those seeking solutions to the world’s ills, and instead long for Christ’s return, when he will solve all the world’s problems. Evely seems to argue that if Christians truly loved God they would also love the world and do all within their power to protect and redeem it. Christians should be on the forefront of the fight, leading the way, rather than belittling those who are concerned and attempting to do something about it, or hindering their efforts.

It’s no wonder people are not attracted to the modern church and perceive it as those who hate the world and the people within it. The people of God need to adopt Christ’s attitude of putting others’ needs before their own, seeking the good of others before seeking what is good for themselves, and sacrificing their resources and using their influence for the benefit of others. Those attitudes and actions align with God’s attitude and action and would do more to effect changes in society and within the hearts of those who do not believe in God.

My Heart Song

Tuesday 11/5/19 5:36 AM

I am reading Psalm 19 each day this week. It begins with the familiar words about the heavens declaring the glory of God and the skies proclaiming his handiwork. Yesterday I was watching a couple of the physics videos from my sabbatical project and one of them talked about the working of the human heart. I still don’t understand everything about it but, from what I do understand, it is made of cells where the interior electrical charge is 80 millivolts less than the outer charge, creating an electric field. There are pacemaker cells at the top of the atria that receive a signal and ions move through the cell wall to make the interior 20 millivolts more than the exterior of the cell. As this charge moves through the cell it contracts and the charge continues to move through the remainder of the heart cells from the top to the bottom. When it reaches the bottom, the ions move back through the cell wall so the interior charge is again 80 millivolts less than the outer charge, causing the cells to relax again. The movement of this charge then goes upward through the heart returning it to its original state and then awaits the next signal from the pacemaker cells. That moving electrical charge is what is measured in an electrocardiogram. This process happens within approximately one second, causing a heartbeat of approximately sixty times per minute. If the pacemaker cells fail to send their signal for more than four seconds the person loses consciousness and if they remain unconscious for more than four minutes there can be permanent brain damage. The heart muscle cells are a pump that operates continuously throughout the lifespan of the person. The heavens aren’t the only thing declaring the glory of God. In my opinion, the interior workings of cells and the coordinated workings of groups of cells in the heart, the eye, the ear, the lungs, and so on, declare it even louder.

Bye, Bye Bully

Tuesday 10/29/19 4:49 AM

Yesterday I had my first physical therapy appointment following my hip replacement surgery nine days ago. The outcome was way better than I had expected. I was able to walk unassisted down the hallway at my appointment. My physical therapist was very pleased with my progress and has given me permission to walk around the house without either cane or walker. The only pain I had was in the muscles of my leg, with no discomfort whatsoever in my hip. I was given a few more exercises designed to strengthen the muscles around the hip that I can work on at home. The prescription I got from Dr. Tiberi was for 2 therapy sessions per week for 8 weeks. Given the progress I’ve already made, the therapist thought I should be able to be done with the physical therapy after only 4 weeks. All of this was extremely great news and I am grateful to Jaci for the good care she is providing and I am also grateful to God for the healing he has given me through this whole process.

My psalm for the week is Psalm 139. David begins the psalm by showing God’s intimacy with him, how God perceives his thoughts and is familiar with all his ways. Verse 5 caught my attention this morning as I reflect on the healing God has given me over the past ten days. “You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand on me.” I’ve felt God’s presence throughout the whole process of my hip replacement, from the leading up to it all the way through it, I have had a strong feeling of God being behind me and before me, assuring me that he was with me throughout.

My reading also included Zephaniah 3. I am embarrassed by the broader Christian church in the United States today who seem to think that political power and our current President, Donald Trump, are the key to making our nation great again. President Trump often sounds like a schoolyard bully, calling his detractors petty names and belittling all those who disagree with his way of thinking and acting. His supporters spew hatred and vitriol toward anyone who criticizes him and say things that, to me, are divisive and hateful. Zephaniah 3 begins with a description of God’s people in Jerusalem, and their leaders. “Woe to the city of oppressors, rebellious and defiled! She obeys no one, she accepts no correction. She does not trust in the Lord, she does not draw near to her God. Her officials within her are roaring lions; her rulers are evening wolves, who leave nothing for the morning. Her prophets are unprincipled; they are treacherous people. Her priests profane the sanctuary and do violence to the law.” It seems like this describes the political climate in our society pretty accurately.

After that sharp criticism of God’s people, the tone of Zephaniah changes and he describes what God will do to restore his people. “Then I will purify the lips of the peoples, that all of them may call on the name of the Lord and serve him shoulder to shoulder. … On that day you, Jerusalem, will not be put to shame for all the wrongs you have done to me, because I will remove from you your arrogant boasters. Never again will you be haughty on my holy hill. But I will leave within you the meek and humble. The remnant of Israel will trust in the name of the Lord. They will do no wrong; they will tell no lies. A deceitful tongue will not be found in their mouths. They will eat and lie down and no one will make them afraid.” It seems like many modern evangelical Christians are arrogant, feeling they know the right way and have the idea that, if only everyone else in society would follow them, everything would be hunky-dory. It is possible they do know the right way, but Christ did not come into our world with an attitude of an arrogant bully. He came as a suffering servant. The description Zephaniah gives of a restored creation includes the removal of the arrogant boasters, leaving only the meek and humble as a remnant. In that restored world there is no room for arrogance and pride.

Our society also feeds on fear, with twenty-four-hour news programs fueling our fears with videos of natural disasters, mass shootings, inflated crime statistics, etc., which are often shown to be an inaccurate portrayal of the facts. In the restored creation Zephaniah describes, no one will tell lies or be deceitful and no one will make the people afraid. It seems to me the Christians in our society should strive for this type of society by lovingly serving others, speaking the truth with humility, and alleviating fears with quiet reassurance rather than fighting against those with whom they differ using the same bullying and fearmongering techniques.

At my church we are going through a transition. Many of the members have left for other churches for various reasons. There are many in our church who want to return to the good old days when things seemed better. One of the last descriptions Zephaniah gives of the restored people of God is this: “I will remove from you all who mourn over the loss of your appointed festivals, which is a burden and a reproach for you. At that time I will deal with all who oppressed you. I will rescue the lame; I will gather the exiles. I will give them praise and honor in every land where they have suffered shame. At that time I will gather you; at that time I will bring you home.” As a church it is easy to look back to what we think were the good old days, and long for their return. God is looking forward to a time when those who have been injured by an unjust world, who have been exiled from society, or suffered shame can be drawn together within God’s people and experience the loving community we all like to call home. As a church we need to enfold those who are hurting, those who have suffered unjustly, and those who have been rejected by others and show them love and compassion. Then we will be the restored people of God, a family drawn from every nation and tribe. Bye bye, bully.

Let Go, Let God

Monday 10/28/19 5:39 AM

I am very pleased and surprised by the progress I’m making after my hip surgery. I still have a general achiness in my leg, especially in the morning, but the pain has pretty much subsided. I have cut way back on my narcotic pain medication so I feel like that means I am healing. The bruise on the side of my thigh has lightened and is slowing turning colors, another indication that things are healing well. I am able to walk without my walker, although I always have it along for balance. I can move around the house much faster than I previously did and yesterday I took a short walk outside with nothing but my cane. Today is my first physical therapy appointment and I am looking forward to that quite a bit. Hopefully that will help with the strengthening of the muscles around the hip and maybe they will help me learn to walk properly with my new hip. It will be interesting to see what God has in store for me in the coming weeks.

I have been reviewing my memory verses over the past few weeks. Yesterday I spent my entire devotional time simply doing that. One of the verses is Proverbs 16:9, “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.” This verse describes my life very well. When I first started teaching my plan was to teach a few years and then get a job using my math ability somewhere in industry. God gave me a love of teaching and I ended up staying in the education field. I planned to try to get a job teaching somewhere in the Midwest, closer to Jaci’s family. When I applied for various positions, I was never offered a contract, sometimes I never even got an interview. God decided teaching in Southern California was where he wanted me. I planned to teach at Valley Christian for forty-five years and then retire. After twenty-one years teaching at Valley Christian God saw fit to move me to teaching in the public-school sector, at the college level, something to which I had never aspired. I made my plans for my life, but God determined my steps. Looking back, it almost feels like I’ve been floating down a river doing my best to steer and paddle my boat to a desired location, but ultimately, the riverbed and the current determines the speed at which I travel and the path I traverse.

In his book I Will Lift Up Mine Eyes, Glenn Clark uses a different metaphor, describing one’s life as a picture that is being painted. “When one strains and labors over his dream he is too often carving ivory and not polishing horn. Don’t cut too deeply, don’t carve too hard, don’t paint the picture too much yourself. Get still awhile, and let God paint it through you.” My sabbatical, and now my surgery, has afforded me the time to get still awhile and reflect on what God has done and is doing in my life. Looking at my past and seeing God’s guiding presence along the way gives me great confidence and bolsters my faith as move into the future. Isaiah 26:12, another memory verse, expresses my feelings well. “Lord, you establish peace for us; all that we have accomplished you have done for us.” I think I should personalize it like this: Lord, you establish peace for me; all that I have accomplished you have done for me.

Some would argue that my efforts and abilities have contributed to the outcome of my life. While this is true, I would argue that God has given me my abilities, my drive, and the circumstances in which I live, so ultimately, it is still all the work of God. I need to remember another memory verse as I move forward, Colossians 3:23-24. “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, … It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”

Standing Firm

Sunday 10/20/19 5:22 AM

Yesterday I had hip replacement surgery. It went remarkably well and I have no adverse side effects from the anesthesia. I was wheeled from the pre-op room into the operating room at 7:30 AM and was discharged at about 1:30 PM. After the surgery I was able to walk and climb stairs without pain, truly remarkable. Throughout the day yesterday, as the pain meds from the hospital wore off, I had a dull ache in my hip, but that was all. This morning the pain is a little worse, but, from what I understand, that is to be expected. I am grateful to God for my restored body and for the peace and lack of anxiety about this procedure for the past few weeks. I am experiencing the peace and presence of God as I go throughout my day like I did more than twenty years ago when I left my job at Valley Christian to teach at Cerritos College.  I am constantly reminded that he is with me, and that brings a lot of comfort and confidence. Jaci and I have been overwhelmed with the encouragement of our family, our church family, friends, and acquaintances. We have received text messages, Facebook comments, and phone calls from hundreds of people and it is very encouraging and appreciated.

As I had my devotions today there were a few verses, or parts of verses, which resonated with me. Philippians 4:1 reads, “Therefore, my brothers and sisters, you whom I love and long for, my joy and my crown, stand firm then in the Lord in this way, dear friends!” While completely out of context, the phrase “stand firm then in the Lord” had a different meaning for me today. When I stand within the confines of my walker, I can stand firmly and securely, without fear of falling. Similarly, when I consciously stand in the presence of the Lord, I can remain secure in my faith, without fear.

Philippians 4:4-7 states: “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again, Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” This is a good reminder for me to be joyful and gentle in my relationships with others. I have really experienced the presence of God concretely over the past weeks. It is almost like he is in the room having a conversation with me. Deuteronomy 34:10 says, “… no prophet has risen in Israel like Moses, whom the Lord knew face to face, …” While I make no claim of being in the same category as Moses, I feel like I am experiencing the same thing, knowing and speaking to God face to face. I believe that is the reason for my lack of anxiety and the great sense of peace I experience daily.

The experiences of being confined within the presence of God and knowing him face to face remind me of this verse from St. Patrick’s Breastplate. “Christ be with me, Christ within me, Christ behind me, Christ before me, Christ beside me, Christ to win me, Christ to comfort and restore me. Christ beneath me, Christ above me, Christ in quiet, Christ in danger, Christ in hearts of all that love me, Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.” Thank you, God, for your surrounding presence, which I experience through my devotions, the loving care of Jaci, and the expressions of love and concern from the mouths of family, friends, and acquaintances.

Jekyll and Hyde

Tuesday 9/24/19 6:49 AM

I feel a little like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in my spiritual life right now and my readings today seem to confirm it. In a matter of minutes I can go from being secure in my faith to questioning if it is all true.

I am scheduled to have hip surgery in about three and a half weeks. As the day gets closer, I thought I would start to worry about whether or not I would have a good outcome, but that has not been the case. My psalm this week is Psalm 3 and verse 6 states, “I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me.” When I read that verse, I had a very strong sense of peace and confidence that everything would be fine, regardless of the outcome of my surgery. God has sustained me throughout my life, through both the good and the bad, and I’m certain he will continue to do so.

A minute later I am reading an excerpt from A Cry for Mercy, by Henri Nouwen, in which he describes what seems to him to be an enormous abyss between his insights about God and his life. His words really describe the way I have felt over the past couple of years. “It seems as if I am standing on one side of a huge canyon and see how I should grow toward you, live in your presence and serve you, but cannot reach the other side of the canyon where you are. I can speak and write, preach and argue about the beauty and goodness of the life I see on the other side, but how, O Lord, can I get there? Sometimes I even have the painful feeling that the clearer the vision, the more aware I am of the depth of that canyon. Am I doomed to die on the wrong side of the abyss? Am I destined to excite others to reach the promised land while remaining unable to enter there myself? … I can only keep trying to be faithful, even though I feel faithless most of the time. What else can I do but keep praying to you, even when I feel dark; to keep writing about you, even when I feel numb; to keep speaking your name, even when I feel alone. Come, Lord Jesus, come.”

This waffling between confidence and doubt; between having clear vision and groping in darkness; between having an acute sensation of God’s presence and spiritual numbness or apathy is frustrating. In Psalm 18 David describes the way God came to him when he was fleeing from Saul, one of David’s dark times. “(God) parted the heavens and came down; dark clouds were under his feet. … He made darkness his covering, his canopy around him－the dark rain clouds of the sky. … He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the Lord was my support. He brought me into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.” I need to remind myself that the darkness which frustrates me is the domain in which God moves. Lord, be merciful to those who live in darkness and doubt.

A Lesson from Trash

Saturday 4/27/19 5:47 AM

As I was walking home from the gym this morning at about 5:30, I saw a used paper towel in the parking lot. I stopped to pick it up so I could throw it in the trash can by the bus stop on my way home. As I continued walking across the lot, I saw more trash and an aluminum can that I added to my trash stash. When I went to cross the street, there was more trash in the gutter that I also picked up. I went to the trash can and emptied my hands of the trash only to see more trash about ten feet past the trash can. I picked that up too and returned to the can to dispose of it. As I threw it away, I thought to myself, “God’s world is a little cleaner than it was before.” There were not many people on the road at that time of the day so there were only a couple cars that passed. I was secretly hoping someone saw me and even thought it would be nice if a police officer saw me and cited me for doing a good deed. While I continued my walk home, I wondered why I wanted the recognition from others for picking up the trash rather than being content with doing it to make God’s world cleaner than it was before.

I’m not alone in those feelings. Henri Nouwen writes a prayer in his book, A Cry for Mercy, that I also prayed this morning. “Why do I keep looking for popularity, respect from others, success, acclaim, and for sensual pleasures? Why, Lord, is it so hard for me to make you the only one? Why do I keep hesitating to surrender myself totally to you? Help me, O Lord, to let my old self die, to let die the thousand big and small ways in which I am still building up my false self and trying to cling to my false desires.  Let me be reborn in you and see through you the world in the right way, so that all my actions, words, and thought can become a hymn of praise to you.”