Let Go, Let God

Monday 10/28/19 5:39 AM

I am very pleased and surprised by the progress I’m making after my hip surgery. I still have a general achiness in my leg, especially in the morning, but the pain has pretty much subsided. I have cut way back on my narcotic pain medication so I feel like that means I am healing. The bruise on the side of my thigh has lightened and is slowing turning colors, another indication that things are healing well. I am able to walk without my walker, although I always have it along for balance. I can move around the house much faster than I previously did and yesterday I took a short walk outside with nothing but my cane. Today is my first physical therapy appointment and I am looking forward to that quite a bit. Hopefully that will help with the strengthening of the muscles around the hip and maybe they will help me learn to walk properly with my new hip. It will be interesting to see what God has in store for me in the coming weeks.

I have been reviewing my memory verses over the past few weeks. Yesterday I spent my entire devotional time simply doing that. One of the verses is Proverbs 16:9, “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.” This verse describes my life very well. When I first started teaching my plan was to teach a few years and then get a job using my math ability somewhere in industry. God gave me a love of teaching and I ended up staying in the education field. I planned to try to get a job teaching somewhere in the Midwest, closer to Jaci’s family. When I applied for various positions, I was never offered a contract, sometimes I never even got an interview. God decided teaching in Southern California was where he wanted me. I planned to teach at Valley Christian for forty-five years and then retire. After twenty-one years teaching at Valley Christian God saw fit to move me to teaching in the public-school sector, at the college level, something to which I had never aspired. I made my plans for my life, but God determined my steps. Looking back, it almost feels like I’ve been floating down a river doing my best to steer and paddle my boat to a desired location, but ultimately, the riverbed and the current determines the speed at which I travel and the path I traverse.

In his book I Will Lift Up Mine Eyes, Glenn Clark uses a different metaphor, describing one’s life as a picture that is being painted. “When one strains and labors over his dream he is too often carving ivory and not polishing horn. Don’t cut too deeply, don’t carve too hard, don’t paint the picture too much yourself. Get still awhile, and let God paint it through you.” My sabbatical, and now my surgery, has afforded me the time to get still awhile and reflect on what God has done and is doing in my life. Looking at my past and seeing God’s guiding presence along the way gives me great confidence and bolsters my faith as move into the future. Isaiah 26:12, another memory verse, expresses my feelings well. “Lord, you establish peace for us; all that we have accomplished you have done for us.” I think I should personalize it like this: Lord, you establish peace for me; all that I have accomplished you have done for me.

Some would argue that my efforts and abilities have contributed to the outcome of my life. While this is true, I would argue that God has given me my abilities, my drive, and the circumstances in which I live, so ultimately, it is still all the work of God. I need to remember another memory verse as I move forward, Colossians 3:23-24. “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, … It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”