Thursday 1/14/21 6:34 AM
For the last month or so I have been singing the song His Eye is on the Sparrow when I walk in the morning. These words are included in the second verse, “Though by the path he leadeth, but one step I may see.” For some reason I am really drawn to them. I think it is because the last couple of years of my teaching career are so different from what I expected. I planned to go out strong with renewed enthusiasm after completing my sabbatical, but the pandemic has changed everything and I no longer know what to expect. I’m discovering that, as I sing the chorus of the verse, the fact that not only does God watch over the sparrow but he also is watching over me is quite comforting, in spite of the fact that I have no idea what to expect next.
These words from Thoughts in Solitude by Thomas Merton really resonate with me this morning. “My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.”
Like Merton, I have a desire to please God but I have no idea if what I am doing is what I should be doing or not. I feel like I’m wandering aimlessly, uncertain of what I should be doing and, if I do have some sense of what it is I should do, I have no idea how to go about doing it effectively. The good news is I have an increased sense of God’s presence with me. I need to trust God to lead me along the right road and to accompany me, even when I see but one step at a time.
