Vulnerable, Yet Secure

Sunday 11/30/2014 5:14 AM

I am six feet eight inches in height. Being tall can have its advantages. Jaci likes it because I come in handy when she needs items that are stored on the top shelf in the cupboard and I am also easy to spot in a crowd of people or in a store. My head sticks up above everyone else’s head and above the aisles so she simply looks up and tries to find my balding pate.

What is an advantage for her can be a disadvantage for me. When I am in a crowd of people I can see a long distance over the top of the heads of others but I can also be easily disoriented when the crowd is moving, as happens when entering or exiting a sporting event where thousands of people are in attendance. It can give me the feeling that I am afloat in a sea of people as I watch their heads bobbing around me and I can become dizzy to the point that I almost fall over.

My psalm for the week is Psalm 27. Verses 5 and 6 read, “For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent and set me high upon a rock. Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the Lord.” I like the image of hiding in the shelter of the sacred tent, safe from all the enemies that may surround me. It’s nice to be lost in the crowd with no responsibility to lead. I simply follow the person ahead of me and; much like a bird in a swarming flock or a fish in a swirling school, I am also less likely to be attacked by a predator. On the other hand, being set high upon a rock gives me mixed feelings. It is a nice to have an overarching view of things from that perspective but it can also be a very vulnerable position. One is easy to spot if one’s head is above all the surrounding territory and things that stick up are easy targets for those who would want to do harm.

God wants me to have the security of hiding in the shelter of his wings but he also wants to set me high on a rock. He doesn’t want me to blindly follow everyone else around, trying my best to blend in without drawing attention to myself. He wants me to be set apart for all to see, to sacrifice, with shouts of joy, in the midst of a crowd of people that horde more and more for themselves. He wants me to sing and make joyful music when those around are singing dirges. He wants me to see the big picture, to have perspective, in a myopic world.

The danger of living in such a manner is that of becoming a target for others around. The nail that sticks up is usually hammered down. If I attempt to live differently from the crowd, those around will closely examine my life, looking to charge me with hypocrisy or of having ulterior motives. I become more vulnerable in a world that can be extremely hostile.

Do I trust God enough to lead me against the flow of the crowd, to a life of sacrifice and love? Do I have the desire to see the world for what it is and to be a beacon of hope and joy for others to see? Do I have the courage to live my life vulnerably, to have God set me high upon a rock, or do I crave the security of the crowd too much to take a risk? I pray that I will be vulnerable enough to follow the Spirit, trusting God for my security.

Joy and Peace

Saturday 11/29/2014 8:07 AM

Psalm 90:14 caught my attention as I read my assigned reading for today. “Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.” Over the course of the last twenty years it has been my habit to go for an early morning run and then sit for a while and have a time of Bible reading, meditation and prayer. More often than not I receive direction or encouragement during that time of quiet reflection, which gives me the strength, courage and confidence to live my life with abandon. Thinking about the great love of God for me and for the world allows me to live with joy and peace even when the things around me seem to be deteriorating. It brings hope in the midst of hopelessness.

John 17 records Jesus’ prayer the night before he was crucified. He prayed, “Father, the hour has come. Glorify your Son, that your Son may glorify you. For you granted him authority over all people that he might give eternal life to all those you have given him. Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent.” I believe that my time of quiet reflection each morning allows me to know God better, which brings with it the joy, peace and hope for which so many long.

The following prayer from the book, Prayer, by O. Hallesby, is my prayer today.

Though I’m but dust, I pray,

Before God standing,

Not asking pleasure’s way,

Nor gold demanding;

But greater things I ask,

From God requesting

No less than that he give

To me that I may live

Life everlasting.

My heart now overflows

With prayers and praises.

My Heavenly Father knows

Each sign that raises

My heart ever nearer to his heart so tender;

For there’s my joy and peace;

In thee I’ve found release,

My soul’s Defender.

In the Breach

Thursday 11/27/2014 4:57 AM

Today is my fifty-ninth birthday and it is also Thanksgiving Day. Psalm 90, my psalm for the week delivers a good reminder that human life lasts about seventy or eighty years, that it goes by quickly. I need to remember that if I want to gain a heart of wisdom.

My birthday and Thanksgiving Day have been overshadowed by events in Ferguson, MO, where a grand jury failed to indict a white police officer in the shooting death of a black teenager, Michael Brown. There have been protests and riots throughout the country as citizens rise up against the systemic injustice of our judicial system toward minorities and especially toward African-Americans. Today my reading includes a meditation written by Jesuit Father Luis Espinal shortly before his assassination by paramilitary forces on March 22, 1980, in La Paz, Bolivia. Nearly thirty-five years have passed since then and thousands of miles separate the events but his writing is a good reminder for me.

There are Christians who have hysterical reactions,

as if the world would have slipped out of God’s hands.

They act violently as if they were risking everything.

But we believe in history;

the world is not a roll of the dice going toward chaos.

A new world has begun to happen since Christ has risen…

Jesus Christ, we rejoice in your definitive triumph…

with our bodies still in the breach

and our souls in tension,

we cry out our first “Hurrah!”

till eternity unfolds itself.

Your sorrow has now passed.

Your enemies have failed.

You are a definitive smile for humankind.

What matter the wait now for us?

We accept the struggle and the death;

because you, our love, will not die!

We march behind you,

on the road to the future.

You are with us

and you are our immortality!

Take away the sadness from our faces.

We are not in a game of chance…

You have the last word!

Beyond the crushing of our bones,

now has begun the eternal “alleluia!”

From the thousand openings of our wounded bodies

and souls there arises now a triumphal song!

So, teach us to give voice to your new life throughout all the world.

Because you dry the tears from the eyes of the oppressed forever…

and death will disappear…

As I age it is easy to become cynical about the wrongs that are in the world ever changing for the better. It seems that the purveyors of evil and injustice are prevailing over those of righteousness and justice, and no amount of protesting or fighting against it will change it for the better.

I like the imagery used by Father Espinal, where he describes our bodies as being in the breach. The image that I get is being a bullet in the breach of God’s gun that is aimed at righting the wrongs in the world. God uses his people to effect change; but he doesn’t use the same weapons as the world. He calls me to love, and to exhibit righteousness and justice in my interactions with others. I need to remember that I am part of a great battle but I must not despair, thinking the outcome of the battle is up for grabs. God has the last word and he has already spoken. I pray that I will be an outspoken voice promoting hope and new life in Christ and that I will have a part in drying the tears of the oppressed rather than being the cause of their tears.

Also Ran

Tuesday 11/25/2014 4:42 AM

In horse racing, the first three finishers are awarded the positions of Win, Place, and Show. Those who wager on the race receive a payout for those positions. The other horses running the race, that do not finish in the top three, are given the moniker, Also Ran.

Today my assigned reading included the last verses of Hebrews 11 and the opening verses of chapter 12. Chapter 11 ends with a description of some of the heroes of faith who performed mighty deeds and others who were jeered at, sawn in two, beaten, tortured, flogged, imprisoned, etc. Chapter 12 begins by referencing those witnesses and then gives this encouragement, “Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. … Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” (Emphasis added)

In this life it seems that everyone has a different road to travel. Some seem to lead a life of faith where everything goes their way. They accomplish great things for God and they see the results of their efforts. Others seem to be confronted by evil at every turn. Their efforts seem to be ineffective and their lives are characterized by persecution and trouble. God commends both types of people.

I have a tendency to want to have the first type of life, one characterized by a vibrant faith proving its validity with great signs, notoriety, and fanfare. I want to win, place, or show. So when I go through a dry spell in which I do not hear clear direction from God and when there are no great leaps of faith required, I tend to think I’m on the wrong path. Today the word of Hebrews 12 remind me to run the race that has been set out for me with perseverance.

I want to run the races of others, to hear the accolades that come with breaking the tape at the finish line, of being the best, or nearly so. I need to follow the example of Christ, who ran the race set before him, which included the shame of the cross, and to not lose heart. I place great value on those who win, place, or show. God’s power is made perfect in weakness. He can make great use of an also ran.

When the Light Goes Out

Monday 11/24/2014 4:32 AM

In his book Creation in Christ, George MacDonald writes about the necessity of dying to self in order to fully experience the life of God. He then states, “Friends, those of you who know, or suspect, that these things are true, let us arise and live­ – arise even in the darkest moments of spiritual stupidity, when hope itself sees nothing to hope for. Let us not trouble ourselves about the cause of our earthliness, except we know it to be some unrighteousness in us, but go at once to the Life. Let us comfort ourselves in the thought of the Father and the Son. So long as there dwells harmony, so long as the Son loves the Father with all the love the Father can welcome, all is well with the little ones. God is all right – why should we mind standing in the dark for a minute outside his window? Of course we miss the inness, but there is a bliss of its own in waiting.”

Over the course of the past three days I have heard the same message on different occasions: Wait. I am longing for the feeling of inness that MacDonald describes, of knowing what God wants from me or what he wants me to do specifically. That kind of direct communication has been lacking in my life over the past year or so. Evidently God wants me to stand in the dark for a while. I need to stop and enjoy the solitude, trusting that God continues to work both in me and through me in spite of the silence.

Barren Desert

Tuesday 11/18/2014 4:23 AM

Psalm 19 begins with these words, “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they reveal knowledge. They have no speech, they use no words; no sound is heard from them. Yet their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world.” This past weekend I went on a motorcycle ride with three of my friends. We took a short three-day trip that lead us through Death Valley, through the Owen’s Valley, over the Sierra Nevada Mountains, through gold rush country and into the San Joaquin Valley before returning home. We saw a wide variety of scenery from the dry desert to snow-capped mountains, from the lowest point in North America to a nine thousand foot pass and from barren land to land filled with crops and livestock. David was right; they had no speech, they used no words, no sound was heard from them yet their voice spoke to anyone who took the time to listen.

I have complained over the past year that God seems silent; his voice seems still when I tune my ear to listen. But I heard more from God in the past few days riding my motorcycle through the beautiful California landscape than I have over the past two years reading my Bible. Seeing plants clinging to life in the bone-dry desert gives me hope that some semblance of life with God may lie beneath the barren landscape of my soul.

One of my concerns about my current lack of connection with God is a fear that I have lost my voice in proclaiming the glory of God to the world around me. How can I encourage others to have intimacy with God when I am not experiencing it myself? How can the love of God ooze from my pores for others to see and to experience when the love of God seems absent from me? I wonder if, like the heavens, my voice will go out to the ends of the world even when there are no words, no speech, and no sound echoing within my soul. I pray that the glory of God can be evident to others in my barren life in the same way the plant clinging to life in Death Valley revealed the glory of God to me.

Quicksand

Sunday 11/9/2014 6:04 AM

Lately I have spent much time reflecting on my relationship with God and I’ve found it lacking fervor. I’ve been reading the book Crazy Love, by Francis Chan, and I realize that I am not completely sold out to God. I’ve tried to muster up enthusiasm and excitement in my spiritual life but all the efforts I have put forth are without effect. It seems as if I’m stuck in spiritual quicksand that is slowly, but inexorably, sucking me downward.

I want to hear God’s voice. I want to experience his leading. I want to feel his loving embrace. I want … fill in the blank, but all I get is silence. It makes me question my faith and my commitment to God, or the lack thereof. This excerpt from The Spiritual Life, by Evelyn Underhill, is a good reminder for me today. “Our spiritual life is his affair; because, whatever we may think to the contrary, it is really produced by his steady attraction, and our humble and self-forgetful response to it. It consists in being drawn, at his pace and in his way, to the place where he wants us to be; not the place we fancied for ourselves.” Evidently he wants me to spend some time in a quagmire.