Friday 10/25/2013 6:41 AM
There are two people with whom I periodically have lunch, a
former professor and a young man from my church.
My former professor is one I had in graduate school. He was one of my favorite professors who
presented interesting problems and injected a dry, witty sense of humor into
his lectures that made things interesting and enjoyable. He is now in his eighties and has had a
couple of strokes that have affected his memory. When we meet we talk about our lives and
those we love for a while and then he breaks out some sort of math problem to
work on. In his earlier years he was a
well-known speaker at math conferences and served both as a keynote speaker and
he led smaller sectionals. The problems
on which we work are usually things that he once spoke about or wrote about
however, because of his failing memory, he can no longer remember how to do
them. My job, as he describes it, is to
do the math and explain it back to him.
We have met regularly for a few years now and we have now done the same
problems repeatedly. I enjoy visiting
with him but it feels somewhat like the movie Groundhog Day, where the same
scenario is repeated each time we meet.
I hear the same jokes, hear the same stories, answer the same questions
about how many children and grandchildren I have, and do the same math
problems. Sometimes I wonder if it is
worth it since he seems to remember nothing of our meetings from month to
month. It is hard to see a mind that was
once one of the sharpest deteriorate. It
makes me sad.
I believe the young man I meet with has some serious mental
issues. I don’t know the details but he
is delusional at times, thinking he is going into the marines one minute, that
he is engaged the next minute, that he is going to business school at
Vanderbilt the next and so on. I once
met with him and he was catatonic the entire lunch. He was unable to respond to even the simplest
questions, like what do you like better, rain or sunshine? I had to order his lunch for him because he
was unable to respond to the server when asked what he wanted. He has been hospitalized on more than one occasion,
where they try to adjust his medications so that he can function relatively
normally. Because of his mental problems
it is nearly impossible for him to hold down a job. When we meet and talk I never know what is
the truth and what is simply a figment of his overactive imagination. He is my friend on Facebook and often has
status updates like, “What do you like best about me?” or, “If I died today
what would you miss the most?” Few
people respond to the posts and I wonder what he thinks about that. It is difficult to see a young man full of
potential, crippled by some sort of mental disorder. It makes me sad.
I wonder if God feels the same way when he looks at my life
or the lives of mankind in general. When
he created man he declared that it was very good but after the fall things have
never been the same. Sometimes I feel
like my life is like the movie Groundhog Day.
I constantly struggle with the same issues. Does God tire of hearing the same prayers
year after year for the same issues?
Does he get upset when I fail to remember his promise to never leave or
to forsake me? Does he become frustrated
when I disobey his direct command or when I fail to follow in the way he is
leading? Does my constant concern about
what others think about me cause him distress?
Does he see me as being catatonic when he tells me repeatedly to do something
and I simply ignore him? Does he see the
great potential that he gave me and mourn that it is not being fully
realized? Does it make him sad? I wonder.
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