Dependence

Sunday 12/22/2013 6:56 AM

Jesus said that we need the faith of a child to enter the kingdom of heaven.  I have always thought of this as a strong belief that what God says is true.  The example I usually use is that of my son, Andy.  Within a three-month period my grandmother, a thirty-year-old neighbor and a forty-year-old neighbor all died.  The neighbors’ deaths were very unexpected.  Andy was probably about three at the time and he asked where the neighbors had gone.  I explained that they were in heaven with God.  That night during his nighttime prayer he said, “Dear God, have fun with great grandma Hugen, Pete and Mike.”  I said it; he believed it.  Case closed.  There were no questions, no trying to figure out the whys and the wherefores, just simple faith.

Today I read an excerpt from The Sacred Journey, by Frederick Buechner, in which he describes saving faith and its transforming power.  He suggests a different quality that is required, which is also a quality of children, that of being dependent upon others.  Buechner writes, “But when it comes to putting broken lives back together – when it comes, in religious terms, to the saving of souls – the human best tends to be at odds with the holy best.  To do for yourself the best that you have it in you to do – to grit your teeth and clench your fists in order to survive the world at its harshest and worst – is, by that very act, to be unable to let something be done for you and in you that is more wonderful still.  The trouble with steeling yourself against the harshness of reality is that the same steel that secures your life against being destroyed secures your life also against being opened up and transformed by the holy power that life itself comes from.  You can survive on your own.  You can grow strong on your own.  You can even prevail on your own.  But you cannot become human on your own.”

I have acquaintances that have been disappointed by others.  Some have parents who abandoned them.  Others are raising children alone because their boyfriend abandoned them after they became pregnant.  For a variety of reasons they are convinced that they can rely solely upon themselves and they are resistant to anyone who tries to help or offer advice.  Most of those acquaintances are gritting their teeth and are working hard to do what needs to be done but they have little joy in their lives.  They live in isolation from others, afraid to build relationship for fear of additional rejection.

God has made us to live in relationship with him and in relationship with one another.  We cannot live our lives to the fullest if we live in isolation.  It is difficult to admit that we need to depend upon others and upon God but, if we are to thrive as humans, we need to live in community.  As Buechner says, you can survive, you can grow strong, you can prevail, on your own but you cannot be truly human.