Saturday 10/3/2015 5:58 AM
I know a young musician who has struggled with substance
abuse for years. Like many, he has gone through cycles of rehabilitation only
to fall back into old patterns of destructive behavior. Over the years I have
prayed for him and his family and, on a couple of occasions, I attended one of
his gigs to show support.
At the last show I attended I had the privilege of
witnessing his proposal to his girlfriend, something he had planned ahead of
time without my knowing of it. They have been a source of mutual encouragement
to one another and, with that encouragement; he has been sober for some time
now. I am not a close enough friend to know any details but, from what I have
observed, his life seems more filled with meaning and purpose. I’m sure the
last couple of years have seen their share of struggles and heartache but the
discipline he has shown and the support he receives have given him glimpses of
a life he probably never dreamed could be his.
The theme of my devotions this week is gentleness,
something not generally associated with the discipline needed for change. I
read an excerpt from A Clearing Season,
by Sarah Parsons, that reminded me of my friend’s situation. “When developing a
disciplined practice, one of the most valuable gifts we can give ourselves is
gentleness. In everyday life, we tend to associate discipline with rigidity,
rules, and consequences for misbehavior. However, we tend to downplay the
equally important role of gentleness in making changes. Change requires a great
deal of effort from anyone engaged in it, even if the change is positive.
Change plunges a previously ordered system into temporary chaos, and chaos is
stressful. Gentleness takes into account our effort and stress; treating ourselves
gently is a way of offering encouragement and appreciation for the work being
done.”
Like all people, I struggle with certain issues. I make
resolutions to change my behavior but often find that I slip back into the same
old habits. When that occurs a harsh voice within whispers, “You are a failure,”
and, without warning, I find myself in the all too familiar downward spiral
into chaos. I need to do a better job of treating myself with gentleness, to
recognize the progress that has been made and to celebrate it with those I
love. I have the same prayer for my friend this morning.
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