Compassion and Confrontation

Saturday 3/31/2012 5:57 AM

Over the last couple of years I have been more aware of the plights of my students and the difficult situations in which many of them live.  I also began visiting with a young man who was incarcerated at a prison near my home.  When visiting with my students I provide a sympathetic ear and encouraging words and with the young prisoner I have encouraged him to leave the friends he was hanging with and make new friends who would provide support for him and would encourage him to make wise choices.  I feel as if I am becoming more compassionate and I am trying to take steps to help others to experience that compassion.

Today I read words from Compassion: A Reflection on the Christian Life, by Donald McNeill, Douglas Morrison and Henri Nouwen that challenge me.  They write, “Honest, direct confrontation is a true expression of compassion.  … We cannot suffer with the poor when we are unwilling to confront those persons and systems that cause poverty.  We cannot set the captives free when we do not want to confront those who carry the keys.  We cannot profess our solidarity with those who are oppressed when we are unwilling to confront the oppressor.  Compassion without confrontation fades quickly into fruitless sentimental commiseration.”  By nature, I am not a confrontational person.  I do everything I can to avoid conflict so this call to confrontation does not sit well with me.

Yesterday I had a conversation with a friend of mine about the immigration issues we face in our country.  I have a friend who entered the country illegally as a small child when her parents came here from Mexico.  She is unable to get a job to support her two young children even though she is married to an American citizen and has been educated by our educational system.  As I spoke with my friend I expressed my frustration that the policies of our government allow her to remain in this country but do not allow her to provide for her family.  I’m not sure the steps that need to be taken to confront what seems to me to be an injustice but, in this case, supporting her and encouraging her do little to change her situation.  The policies and practices of our government agencies need to change.

The authors of the quote above would suggest that I need to confront the government and work for change.  Since my nature is not confrontational I would like to think God will call someone else to that mission while I simply supply support and encouragement.  I should probably pray for that but I hesitate to do so because, in my experience, when I pray, God often replies, “Well, why don’t you do something about it?” and I want to avoid the conflict.  Just call me chicken.

The Cost of Right and Wrong Choices

Monday 3/26/2012 5:05 AM

The theme of my devotional material today is “The Cost of Right Choices.”  As I read through Psalm 56 and Acts 14, the assigned scriptures for the day, the memories of fourteen years ago came flooding back.  At the time I felt as if God were calling me away from my job at Valley Christian, that I held for twenty-one years, to something new and different.  That Monday morning I handed in an unsigned contract for the coming fall and decided to pursue employment at Cerritos College, my church, or some other school.  It would be another two months before I found a job but that morning the words of Psalm 56:3-4 were just what I needed to hear.  “When I am afraid, I will trust in you.  In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid.”  I had just quit the only job I had ever known with no new job on the immediate horizon and yet I had a deep sense of peace.  The day after I handed in the unsigned contract I wrote these words in my journal.  “After handing in a blank contract yesterday I experienced a calm over my spirit that I haven’t had for a long time.  I think the act of turning in the contract was a very real way of turning my problems over to God.  My future is literally in his hands and I have great peace about it.”

What a difference fourteen years can make.  Last week I gave midterm exams in all of my classes and I have been correcting them early in the morning rather than having my regular devotional time.  I also have spent much of my time preparing my lesson for Children and Worship, which has also taken away from my time of regular reflection on what God is saying or doing in my life.  There is a sense in which I feel like the theme for my devotions this week should be “The Cost of Wrong Choices.”  I miss my time with God in the morning and choosing to do other activities in its place has consequences.

My reading today included this excerpt from Introduction to the Devout Life by St. Francis de Sales.  “…many persons clothe themselves with certain outward actions connected with holy devotion and the world believes that they are truly devout and spiritual whereas they are in fact nothing but copies and phantoms of devotion.”  There is a sense in which I feel like a phantom of devotion over the past week.  While I don’t believe I have clothed myself with outward actions that would make me appear to be truly devout and spiritual to the world I still feel like a counterfeit rather than the real deal.  I hope the coming week will be one in which I can return to my regular morning conversations with God.

Sin: Ignorance or Defiance?

Tuesday 3/20/2012 4:47 AM

I have always been intrigued by David’s prayer in Psalm 19:12-13, “Forgive my hidden faults.  Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me.”  I have often reflected on those verses and I have looked at my life, attempting to distinguish between those that are hidden faults and those that are willful sins.  As most people are wont to do, I sometimes rate sins from bad to worse.  In my book, the willful sins are the worst because I know its wrong but I do it anyway.  Hidden sins seem like sins of ignorance while willful sins seem like sins of defiance.  In my mind it is like a child who does something wrong but is unaware that it is wrong versus doing something wrong immediately after being told not to do it.

My psalm for the week is Psalm 36, also a psalm of David, and he seems to make a similar distinction about the wicked at the beginning of the psalm.  Verse 2 describes the sinfulness of the wicked like this, “In their own eyes they flatter themselves too much to detect or hate their sin.”  David implies that it is hidden from them because they have such a high opinion of themselves that they don’t even see the wrong they are committing.  Verse 4 continues with these words, “Even on their beds they plot evil; they commit themselves to a sinful course and do not reject what is wrong.”  That seems to describe my conception of a willful sin to a tee.  I don’t know the chronology of the psalms but it almost seems like the verses above could have been written after David’s encounter with Bathsheba.  2 Samuel 11 says that spring, the time when kings go to war, David stayed home in Jerusalem.  Perhaps David thought, “I am the king, I can do what I want.  Let the others go fight my battles.”  He had flattered himself so much he thought he could do anything because he was king.  The chapter goes on to say he got up from his bed and saw Bathsheba bathing.  I wonder if the verse about the wicked plotting evil on their beds, committing to a sinful course and not rejecting what is wrong came from his reflections upon his own actions long after the actual act.

My life is much like David’s.  Sometimes I commit an act and suddenly I am aware that it was not a loving or God-honoring way to act and I find the need to apologize to the offended party and ask for forgiveness.  That sin seems to be one of ignorance.  At other times, even though I am fully aware that something is wrong, I follow through and do it anyway.  That seems to be a sin of defiance, one I rank more offensive on my personal sin-scale.  Those sins of defiance are the ones I find to be the most troubling.

My New Testament reading today is Romans 6:1-14 which, in my Bible, is entitled “Dead to Sin, Alive in Christ.”  Verses 5-7 say, “For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we will certainly also be united with him in a resurrection like his.  For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin – because anyone who has died has been set free from sin.”  Paul then goes on to verses 12-14 where he gives this challenge, “Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires.  Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of yourself to him as an instrument of righteousness.  For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace.”

He makes it all sound so simple, don’t offer yourself to sin; offer yourself to God.  How hard can it be?  Why do I struggle so with that very simple thing?  I suddenly remembered that Romans 7 immediately follows Romans 6 and Paul, who gives this simple challenge, changes his tune and is suddenly ruing the fact that he does not do the good that he wants to do and, the evil that he wants to avoid, he finds himself doing.  In frustration, he finally asks, “Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?”  His answer?  God, in his grace.

I am in good company in my struggle against sin.  I am standing shoulder to shoulder with men after God’s own heart.  More importantly, I am standing shoulder to shoulder with my brother and friend, Jesus Christ, who has delivered me from sin’s tyranny.  Oh for the grace to live in that freedom daily!

Balancing Honor and Humility

Monday 3/19/2012 4:57 AM

I was recently nominated as one of the Outstanding Faculty of the Year at Cerritos College.  The recipients of the award are honored at a luncheon and are given a medallion to wear at graduation and a small plaque to adorn their office wall.  Last week I had my picture taken for the program commemorating the event and I have been asked to write a two hundred word biography that will also be included.  Condensing thirty-four years of teaching into two hundred words is proving to be a difficult task, especially for someone whose gift is mathematics and not the written word.

I was thinking about this as I went for my run this morning and I likened it to an obituary.  Sometimes when I read people’s obituaries or hear them eulogized at a memorial service I hardly recognize the persons I knew.  Often their positive qualities are over-emphasized and their faults are minimized so the person portrayed is nearly unrecognizable as the person who actually lived.  I am receiving this award because at least one person thinks I do a good job of teaching but, for me, the difficulty lies in how to accurately describe my professional life to acknowledge what others see without becoming maudlin or overly complimentary.

My devotional guide this week directed me to read Psalm 36.  David begins by describing the sinfulness of the wicked.  Verse 2 serves as a reminder to avoid being overly complimentary, “In their own eyes they flatter themselves too much to detect their own sin.”  I know some people like that; who have such a high opinion of themselves that they think their poop doesn’t stink.  There are others who can never take a compliment and are always belittling themselves and engaging in self-deprecating humor.  The challenge is finding a balance between those two extremes.

I wondered what God would say about me if he were going to introduce me at the luncheon.  He knows me completely, warts and all.  I'm sure he would not sugar coat my faults but neither would he minimize the positive contributions I have made.  The Bible provides his description of those who please him the most.  God simply says, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”  I pray that his description fits the work I do at Cerritos College.

Drifters Who Don't Drift

Saturday 3/17/2012 6:21 AM

Yesterday I wrote about drifting, straying from a course that one is trying to follow.  Drifting of this sort usually carries a negative connotation because one ends up in a place that is not the desired destination.

Today as I sat down for my devotional time I thought about the word drifter, someone who is moving from place to place without a fixed home.  There is a sense in which this describes the people of God to a tee.  As the old hymn says, “This world is not my home, I’m just a-passing through.”  The Bible is replete with admonitions to avoid becoming attached to the things of this world.  We are encouraged to be in the world but not of the world.  Jesus told parables that illustrated the danger of laying up treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, rather than laying up treasure in heaven.  I need to find a way to live in this world without becoming too attached to it.

Hebrews 12:1-3 gives me a good example to follow.  “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles.  And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.  For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”  While I need to remember that this world is not my home, I am not to drift aimlessly along through life, rather, I am to fix my eyes on Jesus and run the race that he places before me, always keeping the ultimate goal of God’s kingdom in focus.  In effect, I need to be a drifter who doesn’t drift from the path laid before me.

Anti-Lent

Thursday 3/16/2012 6:22 AM

Hebrews 2:1 is a good reminder for me today.  “We must pay the most careful attention, therefore, to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away.”

For the majority of my life I have been extremely disciplined in my exercise routine.  I run at least five times per week and often times even more.  While some have argued that my workout should include some sort of weight training regimen to increase muscle mass they could never suggest that I lacked discipline.

During the last two weeks I have only gone out for a run three times and I have not run yet this week.  Yesterday I spent my time finishing up some test correcting that needed to be done but most mornings I simply went online to catch up on news or my Scrabble games for a couple of minutes and got carried away, wasting over an hour or more of time.  I have drifted away from the discipline that was so much a part of who I am.

The same has been true with my devotional time.  I have not strayed from the path quite as much as I have strayed from my exercise routine but my devotions have been cut short and I have taken less time to contemplate what God is trying to say and reflect on what I read.  This results in an incomplete journal entry or no journal entry at all, making it difficult to look back to see a trend in God’s word to me.

This year I didn’t intentionally give anything up for Lent but it would seem that I have given up something good by simply drifting away.  I think I need to practice anti-Lent for the remainder of this season and take up the habits that I have let go.