Drought and Doubt

Friday 8/3/2012 8:32 AM

This past week has been a busy one.  It was the final week of summer school complete with final exams to be written and corrected and final grades to be assigned.  There is a drought that has gripped the majority of the country and crops are dying, threatening people’s livelihood and the economy in general.  I began using a CPAP machine that has resulted in sleepless nights as I adjust to having a mask on my face all night long.  Today is also my anniversary and I am celebrating thirty-four years of marriage to God’s gift to me, Jaci.

For nearly three months now my devotional life has been extremely dry, so much so that I have only had my quiet time twice in the last three weeks.  My assigned psalm for the week is Psalm 63 and the opening verse is an appropriate one.  “You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water.”  The dry and parched land part are certainly true but I guess I haven’t been earnestly seeking God or thirsting for him.  Otherwise I would probably have opened my Bible to see what he would say.

Verse 6 reminds me of my sleepless nights.  “On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night.”  I have been spending some of my waking time praying for those in need, Emily in the Dominican Republic, my neighbor, Manuel, who is in critical condition following a motorcycle accident, my pastor who is currently on sabbatical, Andy and Jessica as they adjust to their latest child, Crew, the victims of the shooting rampage in Aurora, Colorado, my students, who so often have extenuating circumstances in their lives that preclude them from learning effectively, and so on.

Verses 7-8 read, “Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.  I cling to you; your right hand upholds me.”  I definitely feel as if I am in the shadows lately.  The image of being in the shadow of God’s wings is comforting to me.  I’m also quite certain that I am not so much clinging to God as he is clinging to me, upholding me in this time of drought and doubt.