Chris and Christ

Wednesday 1/19/2011 4:02 AM

The message of hope I received yesterday was reinforced today.  It began with God’s word to Zerubbabel in Zechariah 4:6, “Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit; says the Lord Almighty.”  I want to see immediate results from my efforts so when I enter a ministry to which I believe God has called me I begin working, fully expecting miraculous results because of my obedience.  What usually happens is I see very little fruit and I begin to doubt if I actually heard the call of God or something else.

My prison ministry is a good example.  I felt God’s call, pursued the ministry, got permission to participate and started visiting Chris.  I have been meeting with him for over seven months now and when I visit him we simply play cribbage and engage in small talk.  I want to bring him to faith and inspire him to turn from the life that brought him to prison and live a life of meaning and purpose.  The other day I expressed my true feelings of anger toward God for not allowing me to see any progress to that end.  I said, “I thought you were calling me to this ministry and I obeyed your call.  And now, after over six months of relationship we are only playing cribbage.  Really?  It seems like a complete waste of my time.”

My reading today also includes 2 Corinthians 4:7-8, “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.  We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; …”  Perhaps God does not allow me to see results because, if I did, I would think it was all because of my commitment and efforts and not because of God’s power.  But, if that were the case, what is the point in calling me to the ministry to begin with?  The passage above says that we are “perplexed, but not in despair.”  That pretty well describes my frame of mind at the moment although it might better be described as perplexed, leaning toward despair.  I really need to remember the verse from Zechariah quoted above and remember that my efforts and my ministry are really worthless without the power of God’s Spirit.  It is trusting God’s Spirit to do the work, without seeing any evidence of its work, that is difficult for me.

I wrote about my relationship with Chris both Monday and today.  Each time I typed his name I accidently wrote Christ instead of Chris because of the fact that I regularly type the word Christ in my journal.  The sentence I wrote above takes a whole new perspective when my “mistake” is left uncorrected.  “I felt God’s call, pursued the ministry, got permission to participate and started visiting Christ.”  In the parable of the sheep and goats in Matthew 25 Jesus says that when we visit those in prison we are visiting him.  Maybe my role is not to bring Chris to faith and to inspire him to great things.  It might be that he needs to be shown the love and concern of God.  God visits me when I run and when I work in my yard.  Evidently he likes to play cribbage too.