Tuesday 2/28/2017 4:36 AM
Over the course of the year I have felt somewhat
overwhelmed with everything, to the point that I feel I have no energy to act
on anything. In the past, I’ve thought about becoming involved in movements
that seek justice for those who are oppressed by our current system of government.
At church I feel as if we need to become more involved in reaching our
community and I’ve tried to use my position on the council to bring about that
kind of change. At school I’ve tried to get to know some of my colleagues and
students on a more personal level to establish deeper relationships with them.
All of these noble aims require time and energy, and I currently feel as if I
lack the energy to invest.
I do not like feeling this way. I have always had something
to do. Just sitting around doing nothing seems pointless. I met a friend last
Friday for coffee and, among other things; we discussed my resignation from the
church council. After I explained why I was doing it his first question was,
“What are you going to do now?” He was simply giving voice to the voice I hear
in my own head. Somehow doing nothing seems wrong.
I think I need to pray this prayer of John Baillie from A Diary of Private Prayer. “I am
content, O Father, to leave my life in Thy hands, believing that the very hairs
upon my head are numbered by Thee. I am content to give over my will to Thy
control, believing that I can find in Thee a righteousness that I could never
have won for myself. I am content to leave all my dear ones to Thy care,
believing that Thy love for them is greater than my own. I am content to leave
in Thy hands the causes of truth and of justice, and the coming of Thy Kingdom
in the hearts of [people], believing that my ardor for them is but a feeble
shadow of Thy purpose.” This prayer is a great reminder that my personal
sanctification, the care and keeping of those I love, issues of truth and
justice, and the coming of the Kingdom of God into this world are the
responsibility and in the domain of God, not me. While God uses his people to
bring about his will in this world he does not rely solely upon me to
accomplish his work.
My assigned scripture for today included 1 Peter 1:22, “Now
that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere
love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart.” The
acknowledgement that God is the one who brings about changes in the world does
not absolve me from all responsibility but it does allow me to focus upon what
my true responsibility is, to love others deeply, from the heart. Lord,
increase my capacity to love others and empower me to act when it is required.
G'day Mark!
ReplyDeleteConnie and I just returned from a time away, far away, in a warm sunny place. People can't help asking: So, what did you do? My response: mostly nothing! The point was to reflect/remember with thanksgiving rather than to achieve. A Sabbath of sorts. Your blog makes me wonder if you thirst for a form of Sabbath ... the time and space in which to do/achieve nothing for a while, a time/space in which to simply revel with thanksgiving in the remembrance of your life being hidden with Christ in God. And who knows what renewal of life/energy/calling might spring up from such a Sabbath rest.
Blessings, friend.
Thanks, Bill.
DeleteMy resignation from my church council is just one step I am taking to try to create a Sabbath rest for myself and speak against the inner voice that tells me to do something. I still need to teach my classes but I am saying "No" to everything else to allow myself the freedom to be, rather than to do.
Jaci and I are planning a trip to Michigan that may include some time in the Chicago area. If those plans materialize I would love to see you and Connie again and have a good talk.
Thank you for your concern and your encouragement.
With love,
Mark
Mark ... come on over! We'd love to have you and Jaci drop by ... break bread together, have a good chat, and perhaps even hang out downtown or something :).
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