The Best of Times, The Worst of Times

Sunday 9/25/2016 5:06 AM

This year has been a difficult one for me. My regular routine of running was thrown off because for some strange reason, after being sick for a couple of days, I was unable to run more than a half mile without stopping to catch my breath or to recover from dizziness. I stopped having my regular devotional time, spending time with God only once per week or so. My nephew nearly died after contracting the H1N1 flu virus. My brother-in-law had a serious infection in his hip and was in critical condition for four months in the spring. This summer my mom’s ability to care for herself has deteriorated to the point where she needed to be placed in a memory care unit. The confluence of these events led me down a dark path where God seemed absent, or distant at best.

The theme for my devotions this week is “When Nothing Goes Our Way,” a fitting theme for a year like mine. My reading today included Isaiah 41:10 and Isaiah 43:1-3, passages that remind me of God’s presence with me through the difficult times of life. These same passages came to mind a few weeks ago when I made a pledge to start having regular devotions again.

The author of my devotional book, Rueben Job, writes these words, “There are times in our lives when nothing seems to go as we planned. Times when day after day we are faced with difficulties and darkness no matter how much we long for lighter loads and light for our pathway. There are other times when we come from a spectacular high moment and suddenly find ourselves hanging on to hope by our fingernails. … One of the best times for us to cultivate the nearness of God emerges when nothing is going our way. Such an experience may sharpen our ability to see God at work in our midst and in our lives. Remember that we are not alone when things are not going our way, as we are not alone when things are going our way. Each situation gives us opportunity to pay attention to God’s presence and call for God’s help.”

As quickly as my ability to run was taken from me last winter, it seems to have returned a few weeks ago and I have resumed my morning routine. My devotions, too, have become more consistent and meaningful. I’m not sure what God wanted me to learn through all the events of the past year but Rueben Job’s reminder that I am not alone in both the good times and the bad times is a good one for me to remember.

Compassion for Others

Thursday 9/22/2016 6:29 AM

The theme of my devotions this week is compassion for others. To check to see how compassionate I am, one of the readings in my devotional material suggested I ask these questions: Do I sense the presence of the suffering Christ in others? Do I share their pain? Am I aware of their vulnerability? Do I know that the need for mercy is often hidden under a mask of self-sufficiency, coldness, and indifference? While my answer to these questions varies with time and with different individuals, overall I would say that my compassion meter has become more sensitive in the last several years. My biggest fault in this regard is a lack of action, not a lack of feeling.

In her book The Cup of Our Life, Joyce Rupp notes some of the common characteristics she has observed in compassionate people. She writes, “They often have significant suffering or painful life events of their own, a generous heart, a non-blaming and non-judging mind, a passionate spirit, a willingness to sacrifice their life, a keen empathy, and a love that embraces the oneness of all creation.” When I consider my life and my way of living I feel as if some of those characteristics have grown in me while others are woefully absent. I long to be a more compassionate person instead of a cynical person. I have a long way to go.

Compassion is a quality that seems to be in short supply in the United States today. Our stress on the rights of the individual as a nation allows for a lot of individual freedom, which we regularly celebrate, but it comes with a steep price, a lack of empathy and compassion for others. Rupp writes, “Compassionate people often inspire others to be compassionate.” I want to be that kind of person.

Obfuscating the Obvious

Saturday 9/3/2016 5:57 AM

This past summer was a big disappointment for me. During the spring I was having difficulty maintaining a regular discipline of running and spending quiet time meditating each morning. I seemed to have some sort of difficulty with my breathing that kept me from running more than a half mile or so without stopping and I simply stopped my habit of reading the Bible, meditating on what it said, and writing in my journal. I would do it maybe twice a week but not the regular routine that it has been for me for the last twenty or so years of my life. When I did run, I struggled, and when I had my devotions, they were dry and, for the most part, meaningless.

As the summer began I pledged to run more frequently and return to my regular habit of a morning quiet time. My renewed resolve lasted approximately one week before I fell back into my newly acquired habit of no running or quiet time. It seems I choose to check my Facebook page, play online Scrabble with friends, do the online Los Angeles Times crossword puzzle, and read online news articles rather than exercising my body and spirit.

I began my running routine on Labor Day weekend in 1978. I began slowly and worked my way up to running four miles each day. Since it is Labor Day weekend I decided to start fresh this morning, hoping to tap into the same reservoir of resolve I had 38 years ago. I ran a full two miles this morning without having to stop for breath and I had my devotions. One day complete for a different future.

Part of my devotional reading today included an excerpt from Reformed Spirituality, by Howard Rice. He writes, “The biblical promise that if we truly seek, we shall find God is the basis for the journey of the spiritual life. In spite of the difficulties along the way, the times of dryness when nothing seems to be happening, the discouragement and distraction that come to us all, and the times of falling back and wondering if we have made any progress at all, the journey is one from which we cannot turn back. The testimony of the saints of all the ages is that the journey is worth it; that God really is love; and that the love God offers is the most important reality that can be known by any of us. Such knowledge enables a person to have tremendous power to take what happens, to surmount great difficulties, and to grow in the face of tragedy and deep disappointment. The fruit of the spiritual life is not easily attained. The process of growing in grace is sometimes difficult. It requires persistence which never comes easily for any of us.”

I can attest to the difficulties of maintaining a spiritual discipline. The main difficulty for me seems to be that I lack the necessary persistence. I find that the discipline necessary is more difficult to exercise the older I get. Somehow I always believed that, as I aged, my walk with God would become easier because of my experience. The biggest problem I have is the things that always seemed to be black and white when I was younger now seemed tinged by varying shades of gray. Things I was sure about as a young man I now question, including the way that God would have me interact with those with whom I have contact on a regular basis.

I once had a professor who criticized a proof I had written by saying that I was obfuscating the obvious. Sometimes I feel like my insight into scripture and how God would have me live in the world are being similarly obfuscated. What once seemed clear is now obscure. I guess I should trust God to lead me through this time of discouragement and distraction just like I trusted him to lead me when things seemed clearer. I need to remain persistent.