Sage Advice from My Wife

Monday 3/14/2016 6:19 AM

Today is the first official day of my spring break. Last week I had a plan to go to Phoenix for a couple days to visit Mom, then head down to Tucson for a day to see Rod, Kathy, and Derek, and finally heading home via San Diego for a quick visit with Stan and Judy before heading home in time for the dress rehearsal for our cantata in choir Thursday night. It was going to be a whirlwind trip of visiting while spending the nights in my hotel room reading applications for the teaching positions being offered at Cerritos College, since I am on the hiring committee. When I got home from school Thursday night Jaci suggested I cancel the trip. She felt that I have been working too much lately and needed a break from the busyness and the stress. As usual, she was right.

My semester seems extra busy for various reasons and I have spent longer hours working at school. This is also a busy time for my responsibilities at church with extra meetings required to work through some personnel issues and budgeting for the coming year. I have been distracted from my relationship with Jaci in addition to my time for exercise and meditation. All of this distraction leads to strained personal relationships and feelings of failure and resentment.

Today I read a portion of Francis Dorff’s book The Journey from Misery to Ministry that describes my situation pretty well. “After a while, this Sabbath-less way of living might even become a point of honor with us. We begin bragging about being so busy that we ‘have not had a vacation in years.’ What we fail to realize is that this is already a public declaration of our spiritual poverty. Whether we mean it to be or not, it is also a way of making others feel guilty about honoring the time they need for marginality. In this way we begin to perpetuate the destructive equation of ministry with work.” Working long hours and attending lots of meetings can give me a feeling of accomplishment but the price I pay in lost time with loved ones, lost time for exercise, and lost time for personal reflection is not worth it.

In his book Francis Dorff also writes, “As our insensitivity to our own feelings grows, our lives often begin leaking all kinds of negative emotions. Without even realizing it, we go about feeling frustrated, unappreciated, resentful, exploited, lonely, put upon, needy, angry, and acting in ways that let these negative emotions overflow toward others. If we were in touch with our feelings, these emotions could be moments of truth for us, warning us that we are headed for trouble. They could be the raw material for soul-searching and meditative exploration of what is going on in our lives. When we are out of touch with our hearts, however, we fail even to notice our feelings, much less to receive and act on their important messages.” Thankfully, Jaci had the courage to point out the fact that I was heading for trouble. I pray that as I slow down somewhat this week I will be able to get back in touch with my feelings and act on the messages they give.

Whirlpools and Eddies

Sunday 3/6/2016 5:15 AM

Over the course of the past year or so our church seems to have lost some members. This is a relatively common phenomenon when a pastor leaves a church but there is something that bothers me about it. Some who left are young couples with small children so our children’s ministry seems to be shrinking. We have also gained a few members since we have a new pastor but most of those who recently joined are retired and, for the most part, older in age. It seems that our church goes through phases of growth and retreat. It appears to me that we are in a retreat phase at the moment.

The thing that bothers me about a fluctuating membership is what appears to be a lack of commitment to a body of believers. It seems people only commit to a body of believers if they like the person in charge or if they feel comfortable with the direction the body is headed. The first sign of anything with which they disagree and they are out the door. I’m certain there is more that influences their decision to leave but it seems that they are unwilling to try to work things out or to push for the changes they believe are necessary.

I wonder if God feels the same way about me. I go through hot and cold phases in my relationship with God. At times I am fully engaged, regularly asking for guidance and following where he leads. At other times my commitment is mediocre at best and I drift, swept along by the prevailing currents generated by society at large or malcontents within the Christian community.

The theme of my devotions this week asks the question, “Why do we drift away?” The author, Rueben Job, writes, “The bad news is that individuals, congregations, and denominations can drift astray. It happens so easily. It happens the moment we take our eyes off Jesus Christ. The moment we lose our center we begin to lose our way. We know it does not have to be that way because every day we can keep our eyes upon Jesus Christ and ask for guidance and grace to remain faithful. The good new Christians share is that Jesus Christ is able and willing to guide and enable us on our journey toward our try home with God.” I pray that I can remain focused on Christ and avoid the whirlpools and eddies that so easily suck me down and stall my progress in the development of my walk with God.

Bursting Bubbles

Friday 2/26/2016 4:44 AM

When I was a young man the story and plight of David Vetter became a media sensation. David was born with severe combined immunodeficiency (SCID), a hereditary disease of the immune system that makes one susceptible to infection. David had an older brother who also had SCID and his brother had succumbed to an infection at the age of seven months because of it. Immediately after his birth David was put into a sterile environment made from plastic to protect him from a similar fate. He became know in the media as the boy in the bubble and lived out his twelve years in isolation.

For the first twenty-one years of my teaching career I taught at Valley Christian High School. I loved my job and the colleagues with whom I worked but eventually I felt like I was living in a Christian bubble. I do not mean to imply the students and staff had no problems or difficulties but, for the most part, an extremely supportive community of like-minded people surrounded me. The only students accepted into the school were those who had Christian parents that were members of a local church community. With that kind of clientele, when problems arose, as they inevitably do, there was usually support and assistance provided by the larger community. When you live and work in that kind of environment you can easily be unaware of the difficult issues and situations that are encountered by those who are not a part of such a community. The church of which I was a part and the school where I worked insulated me from those kinds of difficulties so that I eventually felt as if I were living in a bubble.

When Jesus walked the earth he was accused of being friends with sinners. He didn’t avoid the difficult situations and the painful problems experienced by the people of his day; he sought them out and brought healing and restoration. I began to pray that God would give me eyes and ears to experience the world the way he experiences it. Eventually God called me away from the little Christian bubble I was so fond of and allowed me to see and to deal with some of the intractable issues that are so much a part of life in our world. People began entering my life with whom I have no common experience. They began sharing the lose-lose situations in which they find themselves, where there seems to be no nice resolution. I often feel as if I am stumbling around in the darkness with them, the blind leading me, equally blind. I find my heart aching for those who suffer, wishing they could find the same kind of loving, supportive community of which I am a part.

This morning I read the writing of Rueben Job, the author of my devotional book. He writes, “In offering ourselves as fully as we can, we discover the cost of discipleship. For to bind our lives to Jesus Christ requires that we try to walk with him into the sorrows and suffering of the world. Being bound to Jesus Christ, we see barriers broken down and we are led to places we have never been before and to carry loads we have not even seen before. Having offered ourselves to Jesus Christ, we may expect to become the eyes, ears, voice, and hands of Jesus Christ in the world and in the church. The cost of salvation? It is completely free and without cost. The cost of discipleship? Only our lives – nothing more and nothing less.”

I still have a long way to go in breaking down barriers, entering into the sorrows and suffering of others, and sharing the loads with which they have been burdened, but it is comforting to think I may be on the right path. 2 Corinthians 5:17-21 says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation: The old has gone, the new is here! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us.” I pray that I will be a good ambassador for Christ, willing to pay the cost of discipleship, to spend my life in service to others.

Fair Weather Christian

Wednesday 2/24/2016 5:55 AM

Over the course of the past few weeks my family has experienced some pretty trying circumstances. My grandson, Knox, was hospitalized with RSV and my nephew, Derek, nearly died from H1N1, and is still hospitalized in the ICU. There have been countless prayers offered on their behalf. Knox has recuperated and Derek is currently showing signs of improvement. Since the outcomes and progress has been positive many people are praising and thanking God, including me.

Sometimes I wonder if there would be so much praise expressed and thanks given to God if the outcomes had been negative, if my grandson or nephew had died or become permanently disabled. It is easy to praise God when things go according to our plans but how often do we hear thanks and praise given to God when someone is struck down in an accident or succumbs to an illness?

Isaiah 56:10 says, “‘Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken, nor my covenant of peace be removed,’ says the Lord who has compassion on you.” I like to measure the love of God by how well my circumstances turn out but God reminds me that his love remains the same regardless of my circumstances. I would like to be able to give praise to God and to remain thankful even in adverse circumstances. I pray that I can pray the words of Job in Job 13:15, “Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him.”

Geraldine Jones

Friday 1/22/2016 7:13 AM

When I was growing up there was a comedian, Flip Wilson, who played a character named Geraldine Jones. Geraldine was a sassy young woman who took crap from no one. She was most well known for a couple of lines that came up regularly in her conversation. They were, “What you see is what you get” and “The devil made me do it.”

M. Shawn Copeland writes the following the article, “Saying Yes and Saying No.” “Daily personal prayer, examination of conscience, and participation in a faith-sharing group: these smaller practices can be of real benefit to us in sustaining the larger practice of saying yes to life, saying no to destruction. Together, they help us to understand, judge, and evaluate our daily choices and decisions in light of their relation to our ultimate happiness, as individuals and as humans in community. If we are to enhance and build up the capacities for a good, wholesome, and holy life, we must learn to say yes to what affirms and renews wholeness and life. and we must learn to say a related no to what induces and brings about destruction and ruin. In this practice, we are invited and challenged to make a fully conscious choice about who it is we are and who it is we shall become.”

Titus 2:11 reads, “For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to lead self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope – the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.”

The culture in which I live has the philosophy and attitude of Geraldine Jones. It nurtures the notion that I am a victim of circumstances that are bigger than I am, sweeping me along to places I may not want to go. What I see is what I get and there is nothing I can do that will change it. I am also encouraged to accept no personal responsibility for my actions. Any untoward circumstances I encounter or outcomes of my actions are always someone else’s fault, never my own. The devil, or one of his minions made me do it.

In a world without God I am ruled by sin and its consequences. But, praise God, by his grace I am able to say no to ungodliness and to say yes to leading a self-controlled life, set apart from the life the world claims is my fate, or lot in life. I am not a victim of circumstance or the whims of others. I can choose a path that leads to fulfillment and wholeness and avoid the things that being about destruction and ruin. I pray that I can listen to the truth of God’s grace rather than the lies of Geraldine Jones.

Dull Routine or Glitzy Glamor

Wednesday 1/27/2016 4:47 AM

I read the story of Samuel’s call in 1 Samuel 3 this morning. As a child I remember being impressed that God actually spoke with Samuel personally and gave him a very specific message about Eli, and Eli’s family. Samuel went on to become one of the greatest prophets in Israel. The people of Israel would seek his advice because they assumed he had a direct line to God. The kings of Israel even acknowledged his close relationship with God and sought him out before going into battle or making a decision that had far-reaching consequences for the people of God.

I have always presumed that in those situations Samuel would pray to God and God would answer like he did in the story I read this morning. Today I read to the end of the chapter and neatly tucked away in the last verse are these words, “The Lord continued to appear at Shiloh, and there he revealed himself to Samuel through his word.” That verse seems to imply that the wisdom Samuel dispensed to those seeking the will of God came not from a special revelation in a dream or trance but through Samuel’s familiarity with and knowledge of God’s word.

I long to hear the voice of God speaking from the clouds or by some equally impressive display, telling me what to do or which direction to take. If God chose to speak to one of the greatest prophets of Israel through his word, he will probably do the same with me. The challenge becomes to spend the necessary time reading God’s word so that I can cultivate an understanding of God’s message to me. I pray that I will have the grace to accept the dull routine of regular reading and prayer to hear the voice of God rather than looking for the glitzy, glamorous, message in the clouds.

Meat and Potatoes

Wednesday 1/20/2016 5:56 AM

Monday night Jaci made stuffed peppers for dinner. The filling was made of cooked meat, onions, garlic, and quinoa, among other things. I added extra salt, as is my habit, but overall they were good. Last night we had the Thompsons over for dinner and the topic of eating healthy food came up. Emily asked about the stuffed peppers and I made some comment about the quinoa was something I could do without. Emily reminded me how much more nutritional it is compared to rice and it has the added benefit of containing a lot of fiber. That began a long discussion about health and nutrition.

I have simple tastes when it comes to food. I have a glass of tomato juice (which I call “health going down the throat”) and a bowl of Cheerios with milk (no sugar) every morning for breakfast. I usually have a peanut butter sandwich and some potato chips for lunch. Occasionally I will have ham and cheese sandwich but I seldom put lettuce or other toppings on it. If I eat a salad with a meal I prefer iceberg lettuce with a few tomatoes with ranch or Thousand Island dressing rather than some spring mix, romaine, spinach, or kale type of salad, with balsamic or some sort of vinaigrette dressing. I am a meat and potatoes kind of guy, preferring simple mashed russet potatoes and gravy with a pot roast and corn or beans for a vegetable rather than sweet potatoes, cauliflower mash, or some other healthier option. Most of my kids and acquaintances appreciate all the other tastes and textures while I’m happy with the simple fare I had as a child. I’m perfectly happy with a bowl of bean with bacon soup with crackers smashed in it accompanied by a couple of slices of buttered bread for my dinner.

I receive a lot of advice from those who love me, suggesting I try to eat more healthily. I usually argue that I have low blood pressure, low cholesterol, I am not seriously overweight, and I take no medications or vitamin supplements so my diet seems to be working fine. In my opinion, if it’s not broke, don’t fix it.

My relationship with God is also pretty simple. I make a habit of sitting down to read my Bible, using a devotional book to guide my reading. This is followed by a time of contemplating what God is saying to me in my reading and through the circumstances of my life and then a time of prayer and journaling my thoughts. There are usually no extravagant revelations on any given morning but, over time, I sense some movement in a certain direction and try to follow where I believe God is leading me. Occasionally I will attend a motivational rally or a retreat and receive an insight that changes the direction of my life but the meat and potatoes of my walk with God are my regular daily routine.

Today I read an excerpt from Henri Nouwen’s book Making All Things New that reinforces my experience in this regard. “Simplicity and regularity are the best guides in finding our way. They allow us to make the discipline of solitude as much a part of our daily lives as eating and sleeping. When that happens, our noisy worries will slowly lose their power over us and the renewing activity of God’s Spirit will slowly make its presence known. Although the discipline of solitude asks us to set aside time and space, what finally matters is that our hearts become like quiet cells where God can dwell, wherever we go and whatever we do.” I have a quiet cell within where God dwells. It has formed over a long period of time through a regular and simple daily routine.