Quicksand

Sunday 11/9/2014 6:04 AM

Lately I have spent much time reflecting on my relationship with God and I’ve found it lacking fervor. I’ve been reading the book Crazy Love, by Francis Chan, and I realize that I am not completely sold out to God. I’ve tried to muster up enthusiasm and excitement in my spiritual life but all the efforts I have put forth are without effect. It seems as if I’m stuck in spiritual quicksand that is slowly, but inexorably, sucking me downward.

I want to hear God’s voice. I want to experience his leading. I want to feel his loving embrace. I want … fill in the blank, but all I get is silence. It makes me question my faith and my commitment to God, or the lack thereof. This excerpt from The Spiritual Life, by Evelyn Underhill, is a good reminder for me today. “Our spiritual life is his affair; because, whatever we may think to the contrary, it is really produced by his steady attraction, and our humble and self-forgetful response to it. It consists in being drawn, at his pace and in his way, to the place where he wants us to be; not the place we fancied for ourselves.” Evidently he wants me to spend some time in a quagmire.