Thursday 10/6/2016 5:59 AM
During the first eight or nine months of this year I
experienced a feeling of being separated from God. Circumstances in my life and
my own poor choices sent me down a dark road where God seemed silent and
uncaring. Over the course of the past few weeks things seem to be turning
around, my outlook on life is improving, and I am beginning to experience an
awareness of God’s presence with me again. This is not the first time in my
life I have experienced this but it is the longest.
I’m not sure why this happens to me nor do I know how or
why that feeling of separation from God goes away. If I knew its cause I would
do everything in my power to avoid it and if I knew how to make it leave I
would not wallow in the doldrums for months at a time. Sometimes I can see a
purpose in the things I experience, even the unpleasant things, however, this
time I can see no purpose at all.
Today I read the following excerpt from Evelyn Underhill’s
book, The Fruits of the Spirit. “There
is always a night shift and sooner or later we are put on it. The praise does
not cease with the fading of the light, but goes on through the spiritual night
as well as the spiritual day. And if you are picked for the night shift – well,
praise the Lord. Lift up your hands in the dark sanctuary of your soul when you
are tempted to wonder what is the good of it all, and praise the Lord! And the Lord, maker of heaven and earth, will
bless you from Zion.” God obviously picked me for the night shift. I’m
afraid I didn’t lift up my hands in the darkness and praise God as Underhill
suggests. I spent most of my time wondering what the good of it all was. I need
to learn to praise God in the night of my soul as much, or more, as I do during
the day.
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