Obfuscating the Obvious

Saturday 9/3/2016 5:57 AM

This past summer was a big disappointment for me. During the spring I was having difficulty maintaining a regular discipline of running and spending quiet time meditating each morning. I seemed to have some sort of difficulty with my breathing that kept me from running more than a half mile or so without stopping and I simply stopped my habit of reading the Bible, meditating on what it said, and writing in my journal. I would do it maybe twice a week but not the regular routine that it has been for me for the last twenty or so years of my life. When I did run, I struggled, and when I had my devotions, they were dry and, for the most part, meaningless.

As the summer began I pledged to run more frequently and return to my regular habit of a morning quiet time. My renewed resolve lasted approximately one week before I fell back into my newly acquired habit of no running or quiet time. It seems I choose to check my Facebook page, play online Scrabble with friends, do the online Los Angeles Times crossword puzzle, and read online news articles rather than exercising my body and spirit.

I began my running routine on Labor Day weekend in 1978. I began slowly and worked my way up to running four miles each day. Since it is Labor Day weekend I decided to start fresh this morning, hoping to tap into the same reservoir of resolve I had 38 years ago. I ran a full two miles this morning without having to stop for breath and I had my devotions. One day complete for a different future.

Part of my devotional reading today included an excerpt from Reformed Spirituality, by Howard Rice. He writes, “The biblical promise that if we truly seek, we shall find God is the basis for the journey of the spiritual life. In spite of the difficulties along the way, the times of dryness when nothing seems to be happening, the discouragement and distraction that come to us all, and the times of falling back and wondering if we have made any progress at all, the journey is one from which we cannot turn back. The testimony of the saints of all the ages is that the journey is worth it; that God really is love; and that the love God offers is the most important reality that can be known by any of us. Such knowledge enables a person to have tremendous power to take what happens, to surmount great difficulties, and to grow in the face of tragedy and deep disappointment. The fruit of the spiritual life is not easily attained. The process of growing in grace is sometimes difficult. It requires persistence which never comes easily for any of us.”

I can attest to the difficulties of maintaining a spiritual discipline. The main difficulty for me seems to be that I lack the necessary persistence. I find that the discipline necessary is more difficult to exercise the older I get. Somehow I always believed that, as I aged, my walk with God would become easier because of my experience. The biggest problem I have is the things that always seemed to be black and white when I was younger now seemed tinged by varying shades of gray. Things I was sure about as a young man I now question, including the way that God would have me interact with those with whom I have contact on a regular basis.

I once had a professor who criticized a proof I had written by saying that I was obfuscating the obvious. Sometimes I feel like my insight into scripture and how God would have me live in the world are being similarly obfuscated. What once seemed clear is now obscure. I guess I should trust God to lead me through this time of discouragement and distraction just like I trusted him to lead me when things seemed clearer. I need to remain persistent.