Help

Thursday 2/19/2015 4:34 AM

A few days ago we were reviewing for a test. I allow students to ask questions they may have over any of the material we have covered up to that point. I continue to allow questions until either the class is finished or students have no further questions. In one of my classes the students stopped asking questions about a half hour before the scheduled end of class time. The classroom began emptying and I was in the process of packing up my material, getting ready to go back to my office, when I looked up to find six students lined up, waiting to ask questions. I answered their questions over the course of the next twenty minutes and finally went back to my office at about the regular time that class is done. When I got back to my office there was another student there with more questions that we discussed during my office hours.

After the student left I pondered why there were so many questions that were not asked during class time. Today I read a quote from A Clearing Season, by Sarah Parsons, that sheds some light on the issue. She writes, “The capacity to express vulnerability is a great human strength. We sometimes wish our vulnerabilities would disappear so we wouldn’t have to worry about hiding them. Without these pesky vulnerabilities, we could convince the world that we have it all together, that we have no unsatisfied needs, that we can care constantly for others and never need care ourselves. It is hard to let people see our vulnerable parts – our fears and insecurities, our sadness and shame. To express vulnerability requires courage. Only in exercising this courage, in bravely showing our ‘weakness’ to one another, do we achieve a form of real power – the power to ask for help when needed.”

In modern Western society we are constantly reminded of the science of evolution. We are taught the concept of survival of the fittest from an early age and we are taught to hide any weaknesses we may have or else it may hinder us from achieving our goals. When interviewing for a job, prospective employees tout their strengths in an attempt to impress their prospective employer. In social interactions we are taught to stand up for our rights and to never back down.

All people need other people in order to be able to thrive. We all need relationships with others. In an ideal world one person’s strength complements another person’s weakness. If we all asked for help when we needed it and offered to help others when we saw a need or when asked by others for help, then the entire community would be stronger and our relationships with others would be strengthened too. Too often our pride gets in the way of asking for help, and we suffer as a result. In reality, we are not the only ones who suffer; our entire community is impoverished.

I pray that I will have the courage to be vulnerable, to allow others to see my needs and to ask for help. I also pray that I will have eyes to see others in need of help and take the necessary steps to walk with them to provide the support they need.