Bread of Heaven

Wednesday 5/21/2014 6:32 AM

When our kids were younger they all took piano lessons for a time.  None of them really took to it very much and we eventually sold the piano.  One memory I have is that of my daughter, Kate, playing a song called Breath of Heaven at a tempo that was much faster than the composer intended.  She knew the song well, and played with abandon, but the tempo precluded anyone singing the words of the song or even humming along.

Over the course of the past months I have bemoaned the fact that it seems as if God has stopped speaking to me during my morning quiet time.  My devotions have been somewhat sporadic because of my schedule and other distractions but, even when I sit down and have them, he seems quiet.

This morning I read an excerpt from Carlo Carretto’s book, The God Who Comes.  He writes, “The God-who-is has always been searching for me.  By his choice, his relationship with me is presence, as a call, as a guide; he is not satisfied with speaking to me, or showing things to me, or asking things of me.  He does much more.  He is Life, and he knows his creature can do nothing without him; he knows his child would die of hunger without bread.  But our bread is God himself, and God gives himself to us as food.  Only eternal life can feed one who is destined for eternal life.  The bread of earth can nourish us only for this finite earth; it can sustain us only as far as the frontier of the Invisible.  If we want to penetrate this frontier, the bread from our fields is not sufficient; if we want to march along the roads of the Invisible, we must feed on bread from heaven.  This bread from heaven is God himself.  He becomes food to us walking in the Invisible.”

I want God to speak to me, to show things to me and to ask me to do things for him.  That way I can listen, observe and then act upon what he says.  I feel as if I am doing something to earn his favor.  But God wants to simply be with me.  He wants to sit quietly and enjoy my company.  He wants such a deep relationship that words are not needed to express love or to give direction.  He wants an intimacy so deep that I think his thoughts with him, anticipate what he wants me to do, and then act accordingly, out of love.  That kind of intimacy can only develop over an extended period of time being in the presence of the one you love.

I want to feed from the Bread of Heaven but, like Kate’s playing, I live my life at a tempo that precludes the intimacy I desire.  I need to keep time with the metronome of the Holy Spirit, be still, and live in the Presence.

L-O-V-E!

Tuesday 5/20/2014 3:36 AM

I woke this morning with Jaci soothing me by telling me everything was going to be okay.  I had been yelling in my sleep because of a bad dream.  In my dream I was yelling, “You just need to love each other! L-O-V-E!” to two groups of people who had large caliber rifles and were getting ready to shoot at each other because someone had brushed up against a car that was parked on the border line between two pieces of property that were owned by the respective groups.  Earlier in the dream there had been some words exchanged disputing the boundary line but eventually each group had run for their guns and now it seemed they wanted to settle it with violence.  I recognized the parties involved on both sides as personal friends, who were Christians, and I couldn’t believe they would resort to that type of violence over such an insignificant issue.

After waking I was so upset that I couldn’t get back to sleep.  I kept telling myself it was a bad dream but soon realized that it is reality in the world in which I live.  I believe Christians should be shouting, “You just need to love each other!  L-O-V-E!”, to those around us who are fighting and then follow that up with self-sacrificing, loving action.  But too often we are the ones shooting the weapons of prejudice, bigotry, and hatred trying to maintain the status quo rather than seeking justice for those who are oppressed.

Lord, forgive me for failing to love properly.  Forgive me for seeking only my own prosperity and forgetting about others, leaving them to fend for themselves in a world that is often stacked against them.  Forgive me for using weapons that destroy others rather than breaking through the walls that separate us by wielding the weapon of love.  Increase my capacity to love.

Heaven on Earth

Sunday 5/11/2014 6:12 AM

Over the course of the past thirty or so years the right wing of the evangelical Christian community has entered the political arena.  It began with the Moral Majority of the 1980s and continues today with the Tea Party.  These groups, and others like them, are in favor of “family values,” restoring prayer to public schools, returning the Ten Commandments to the halls of justice and similar issues but are more prominently know for their stance against abortion, the “homosexual agenda,” entitlement programs and the intrusion of the federal government into our daily lives in the form of laws like The Affordable Care Act, denigratingly referred to by them as Obamacare.  They like to portray themselves as being persecuted by those in power and they fight back using whatever means necessary.  In recent years they are known for being against anything that the Democratic Party supports, which has resulted in complete dysfunction in Congress.

Some Christians view their salvation on a purely spiritual level.  God saved them from sin so they can live with God for eternity.  They see their lives here on earth as something that must be endured until they die and then they will get to go to heaven where everything will be made right and life will be wonderful.  I believe that God saved me from sin but I believe he also wants me to experience heaven in this life.  In order for that to happen I need to do what I can to make life in this world as much like heaven as I am able.  God has called me to be a math teacher.  I try to be the best math teacher possible, not so that I can get the Teacher of the Year award, but because I am teaching God’s people, who deserve the best.  If I paint someone’s house I do the best job possible because I am painting God’s house.  I treat people with dignity and respect regardless of their position in life, their gender, their ethnicity, their lifestyle, their political persuasion, or any other societally imposed difference, because they are image-bearers of God.

Part of my reading today includes Acts 2:44-47, “All the believers were together and had everything in common.  They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need.  Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts.  They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people.  And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.”  There is a widening gap between the haves and the have-nots in our world.  The rich keep getting richer and the poor keep getting poorer.  The religious right complains about wealth redistribution, taking from those who “work hard” and giving it to those who are “lazy” freeloaders.  If everyone who claims the name of Christ and who is concerned about abortion, the “homosexual agenda,” government entitlements, and so forth, began redistributing their individual wealth voluntarily, out of concern for the poor, and sought justice for those who are oppressed by unjust systems, then government intervention would not be necessary.  Then Christians would be viewed as people who are generous, loving, and righteous.  I think that if Christians behaved like this God would add to their number like he did in the early church and the current world would be a little more like heaven.

The Reality of Life

Friday 5/9/2014 4:14 AM

Over the course of the last week I have given my final midterm test in each of my classes.  This always entails a lot of grading time, most of which for me occurs in the early mornings.  I am also preparing for final exams, updating my website, and writing the exams.  This often results in a lack of time for my regular exercise and devotional time.  Today is the first time since Sunday that I have sat down to read my Bible and contemplate what God is trying to say to me.

I anticipated words of condemnation that would result in feelings of guilt and remorse but I received just the opposite.  My psalm for the week is Psalm 131 and verse 2 describes my state of mind today.  “But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content.”  The contentment I feel is not a complacency about my lack of devotional time but more an acceptance of the circumstances of the week that have precluded me from having time alone with God.  Part of my reading included a description of the prophets of Jerusalem found in Jeremiah 23:14, “They commit adultery and live a lie.”  When I first read the verse I thought it could convict me but as I contemplated the verse I realized that trying to pretend everything is wonderful and that my life is a breeze during the stress of trying to get everything accomplished by the end of the semester is really living a lie.

In his book Letters from the Desert, Carlo Carretto has some comforting words that reinforce that message this morning.  He writes, “Everyday things, relationships with other people, daily work, love of our family – all these things may breed saints. … Every hour of the day is useful and may lead to divine inspiration, the will of the Father, the prayer of contemplation – holiness.  Every hour of the day is holy.  What matters is to live it as Jesus taught us.  And for this one does not have to shut oneself in a monastery or fix strange and inhumane regimes for one’s life.  It is enough to accept the realities of life.  Work is one of these realities; motherhood, the rearing of children, family life with all its obligations are others.”

Thank God for his word of grace this morning.  Life happens and God is in the midst of every bit of it.

Mark, I am Your Father

Sunday 5/4/2014 5:41 AM

On May 1, 1969, my dad entered the hospital for what would be the last time.  He suffered from emphysema and during the previous night he experienced a bloody nose that they could not stop from bleeding.  I was thirteen at the time and after my siblings and I left for school my mom called an ambulance and they took him to the hospital.  The doctors didn’t expect him to survive the day but after they staunched the flow of blood he made a bit of a comeback.  Nearly two weeks later the doctors told my mom that he was going to slip into a coma and would not recover.  After receiving the news my mom came home and told me while sitting on the bed in my room.  We cried together on the bed and eventually my mom got up from the bed and left the room.  I remember sitting on the bed wondering what my life would look like without a father when I sensed God’s presence in the room and I heard a voice saying, “I am your father.”  I had an overwhelming assurance that everything was going to be all right in spite of the fact that my dad was going to die.  That experience has stayed with me throughout the years and whenever I am faced with difficult circumstances I have the assurance that God is with me.

My theme for the week is the Lord is with you and today’s reading included Psalm 116.  Many of the verses remind me of my experience as a thirteen-year-old child and I feel like I could have written part of the psalm.  “I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy.  Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.  The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came over me; I was overcome by distress and sorrow.  Then I called on the name of the Lord: ‘Lord, save me!’  The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion.  The Lord protects the unwary; when I was brought low, he saved me.  Return to your rest, my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.  For you, Lord, have delivered me from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before the Lord in the land of the living. … What shall I return to the Lord for all his goodness to me?  I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord.  I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his people.  Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his faithful servants.  Truly I am your servant, Lord; I serve you just as my mother did; you have freed me from my chains.”

When I was overcome with distress and anguish over the looming death of my dad God came to me to give me assurance.  Throughout the years God has kept me from becoming distraught over adverse circumstances by allowing me to walk with him through them.  God has freed me from the chains that so often bind those who lose a parent at a young age and has allowed me to serve him just as my mother has served him throughout the years.  The closing verses of Psalm 116 are my song today, “I will sacrifice a thank offering to you and call on the name of the Lord.  I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his people, in the courts of the house of the Lord–in your midst, Jerusalem.  Praise the Lord!”