Who Determines My Future?

Thursday 10/24/2013 5:24 AM

Today my assigned scripture includes Genesis 24, the account of Abraham’s servant searching for a wife for Isaac.  As I read there were three things that impressed me about the faith of Abraham and the obedience and faith of his servant.

The first occurs at the beginning of the story when the servant questions Abraham about the wisdom of traveling so far to find a wife.  He suggests to Abraham that a woman from that far away might not be willing to leave her family to accompany him.  Abraham’s immediate response is, “The Lord, the God of heaven, who brought me out of my father’s household and my native land and who spoke to me and promised me on oath, saying, ‘To your offspring I will give this land’ – he will send his angel before you so that you can get a wife for my son from there.”  Abraham didn’t hedge his bets by inquiring ahead of time about the availability of a suitable spouse for Isaac; he simply trusted that God would provide one of his own choosing.

The second occurs after the servant had journeyed to Abraham’s homeland.  When he gets there he immediately prays, “Lord, God of my master Abraham, make me successful today, show kindness to my master Abraham.  See, I am standing beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water.  May it be that when I say to a young woman, ‘Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink,’ and I’ll water your camels too’ – let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac.  By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.”  The master has the same faith as Abraham.  He doesn’t scout out all the suitable spouses, do a background check and then select the one that seems best to him; he simply lets God do the selecting.

Finally, the response of the servant when God answers his prayer for a spouse for Isaac is impressive.  The Bible says, “Then the man bowed down and worshiped the Lord, saying, ‘Praise be to the Lord, the God of my master Abraham, who has not abandoned his kindness and faithfulness to my master.  As for me, the Lord has led me on the journey to the house of my master’s relatives.”  He does not pat himself on the back for doing such a great job and devising such a great plan to achieve his goal, he gives the credit to God and acknowledges his guiding hand through it all.

I want to live my life like Abraham and his servant led theirs, fully reliant upon God.  I pray that when obstacles arise I will have the faith to trust God to fulfill his purpose in spite of the obstacles.  When faced with choices I pray that I will not hedge my bets and try to determine what is best for me but that I will trust God to determine the best path and live at peace with whatever comes my way.  And finally, when I have success in my life I pray that I will have the humility and grace to acknowledge that it is all the work of God and thank him accordingly.

Optimization

Tuesday 10/22/2013 5:32 AM

Mathematics is often used to optimize functions, to find the maximum value or the minimum value over a certain domain.  This is one of the major reasons it has such a wide variety of applications since the business man wants to maximize profits and minimize costs, the engineer wants maximum strength for a beam with minimum weight, a runner wants maximum speed with minimum energy expended, etc.  Because of my affinity for math I tend to treat my spiritual life and journey in the same way.  I want to maximize my awareness of God in my life with the minimum amount of effort.  As a result, I am constantly looking for ways to spend as little time as possible contemplating God and his will for me and still have the sense that God is present with me and guiding me.  I have a feeling I am not alone since the internet is filled with sites offering a word from the Bible for each day or other inspiring phrases that can be posted on our mirror in the morning for inspiration.  Unfortunately, for many people I know, it is easy to say, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,” or “All things work together for good,” when things are going well but, when tragedy strikes, we are left floundering, afloat in a sea of doubt and unbelief.

Today my assigned scripture includes Exodus 13:17-22.  It begins with these words; “When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them on the road through the Philistine country, though that was shorter. … God led the people around by the desert road toward the Red Sea.”  The Israelites lived in the land of Goshen, near the Mediterranean Sea.  The shortest way to the Promised Land was along the coast, where the weather would have been more temperate and traveling easy.  Instead God sent them into the heat of the desert where the terrain would have been worse.  I’m pretty sure the Israelites were wondering why God was guiding them down such a difficult path when there was a much easier way.

I feel the same way in my life and I’ve come to the conclusion that either God is not maximizing and minimizing the same function as I am or he is not using the same math.  In my ideal world, and that of many others I know, a good God does not allow shooting rampages like the one yesterday in Nevada, he does not allow the poor to be exploited, children do not starve while others are obese, and so on.  I want a world that makes sense and where everything is wonderful.  God’s goal is to mold me into the image of Christ, who sacrificed himself for others.  He wants me to have compassion and love for those I meet instead of always being concerned about my own welfare.  His method of accomplishing his goal conflicts with my ideal scenario and often sends me into a tailspin of doubt.  Perhaps someday I will understand God’s optimization methods.  For now, I need to trust.

Helium Balloons

Sunday 10/20/2013 5:38 AM

Friday night I attended the football game at Valley Christian High School along with my son, his children and my son-in-law.  It was guys’ night out since our wives were either working or relaxing at home.  It was homecoming so at half time they had the regular festivities, which culminated in the team running back onto the field through a banner that had been filled with helium balloons.  When the banner broke the balloons began rising in the night sky, painting it as if a pointillist artist were using small dots of maroon and gold each trailing a similarly colored ribbon.  Some balloons rose quickly while others hovered near the ground, their rates of ascent predetermined by the volume of helium gas injected by the person who had filled the balloon and the length of the attached ribbon.  Initially the balloons were colliding with one another because of their close proximity but as they rose each one had a unique trajectory guided by a light breeze swirling above the field.

This morning I noticed a popped pink balloon with its pink ribbon attached lying on my doorstep.  I immediately wondered if it had been one of many balloons rising in the night sky or a single balloon given as a birthday gift to a little girl.  Did it pop because it rose to a height where the expanding gas could no longer be contained or had it struck a sharp twig in a tree?  I came inside and read Psalm 44 at the beginning of my devotional time.  It begins with these words, “We have heard it with our ears, O God; our ancestors have told us what you did in their days, in days long ago.  With your hand you drove out the nations and planted our ancestors; you crushed the peoples and made our ancestors flourish.  It was not by their sword that they won the land, nor did their arm bring them victory; it was your right hand, your arm, and the light of your face, for you loved them.”  I began to think of my life and what I have accomplished.  I like to think that my position as a math professor at Cerritos College was attained through my own hard work and perseverance.  These verses remind me that God is the one who has put me where I am.  He gave me the ability to do mathematics, gave me a supportive community to encourage me to pursue my education, gave me a strong work ethic that was modeled for me by mentors and provided me with the opportunity to teach at Valley Christian and Cerritos College.  There is a sense in which I am like a helium balloon, with my abilities the helium injected by God, and my life directed by the zephyr of the Holy Spirit.  Everything I have is a gift from God.

The balloon on my doorstep had popped and, in my analogy, that would signify death.  Earlier this week a neighbor living two doors north of my house died.  Earlier this year she was diagnosed with a tumor in her brain and evidently she succumbed to its growth.  I also found out that my next-door neighbor to the south recently discovered that her breast cancer had recurred and it has spread to her brain and her lymph system.  Yesterday her daughter told us that she had been placed in hospice care, had contracted pneumonia and was not expected to live long.  I wondered if the popped pink balloon represented her life, ended by a debilitating disease.  Psalm 44 ends with these words, “We are brought down to the dust; our bodies cling to the ground.  Rise up and help us; rescue us because of your unfailing love.”  My neighbor, Mary Lynn, is being brought down to the dust.  Her body will soon cling to the ground like the popped pink balloon on my doorstep.  Thankfully God does not leave her and her family without hope.  Because of his unfailing love he has rescued her and will raise her up to be with him.  I pray that her family and those she loves will be comforted by this fact.

Purity

Friday 10/11/2013 6:23 AM

My devotional theme for the week is purity.  I’m not sure why but, when I think of purity, the first thing that pops into my head is sexual purity.  I live in a society in which we I am told that anything goes as long as it is between two consenting adults but I believe that the deepest kind of physical intimacy should only be expressed between two people who are fully committed to each other.  Call me a prude if you want but I believe that sex outside of my marriage would compromise and eventually ruin the relationship I have with Jaci.  I have invested over thirty-five years in that relationship, we have nurtured and raised three children and I am not willing to risk destroying all of that for a quick roll in the sheets with someone with whom I have no history.

Today I read an excerpt from Discipline and Discovery by Albert Day that gives a different, and I believe better, definition of purity.  He writes, “Purity means freedom from anything foreign to the essential character of a thing.  Pure water is water in which there is nothing but H₂O.  Pure poetry is poetry that has nothing in it that is alien to the nature of poetry – no doggerel, no lumbering prose, no acrid didacticism.  Pure science is science that has no extraneous or irrelevant interest, but is concerned only with objective reality.  A pure person is one in whom is nothing alien to the character which was God’s intention for him.  That intention was a finite being, in quality like God himself.”  God’s intention is that the fruit of his Spirit fill my life.  He wants me to be filled with love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  That is a much broader view of purity than simply refraining from sexual contact outside of my marriage, which probably best fits into the category of self-control.

The real difficulty lies in determining the best way to remain pure in that broader sense. What is the best way to pursue that kind of character and avoid the things that would compromise that character?  For me it is most difficult to control my mind.  When my thoughts stray and I begin to think of ways to get revenge when I am wronged, when I think of ways to get attention when I feel ignored, when I think of ways to satisfy my cravings when I feel like I am in want, then I jeopardize my purity.  That is probably why Paul gives the advice he does in Philippians 4:8-9, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.  Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me – put it into practice.  And the God of peace will be with you.”  The United Negro College Fund has a motto: the mind is a terrible thing to waste.  I would argue that the mind is also a difficult thing to control but, if I want to remain pure in the broader sense of the word as suggested by Day, it is imperative that I do so.

Intrinsic or Extrinsic Motivation?

Thursday 10/10/2013 5:12 AM

Today I read from Mark 7 where Jesus is questioned about why his disciples did not ceremonially wash their hands before eating.  Jesus responded by pointing out the hypocrisy of his accusers, the Pharisees, who followed human traditions rather than following God.  In her book The House of the Soul and Concerning the Inner Life, Evelyn Underhill writes, “The saintly and simple Cure d’Ars was once asked the secret of his abnormal success in converting souls.  He replied that it was done by being very indulgent to others and very hard on himself, a recipe which retains all its virtue still.  And this power of being outwardly genial and inwardly austere, which is the real Christian temper, depends entirely on the use we make of the time set apart for personal religion.”  Finding that balance of outward geniality and inward austerity is difficult.

As a teacher I want my students to achieve their highest potential and I often struggle with how indulgent I should be to my students.  Trying to balance the right amount of discipline and the right amount of grace is difficult for me to do.  As a student I was very hard on myself.  I had high standards that I wanted to attain and I did everything in my power to meet those standards.  I expect the same effort from my students and when I see them getting distracted from their goals by their friends or their choices on how to use their free time I become frustrated.  It is hard to be genial and indulgent when I see them frittering away their opportunity for success, knowing those kinds of opportunities do not present themselves all throughout one’s lifetime.  When push comes to shove my students have to have intrinsic motivation to succeed but I sure wish I could will that motivation into their lives.