Longing for God

Tuesday 12/11/2012 5:19 AM

As I opened my journal to write this morning I realized that it has been a week since I last wrote in it.  This time of year I am often busy with correcting the final midterm tests of the semester and getting ready for final exams so my schoolwork demands more of my time.  This year I am also in the middle of leading Children and Worship at our church for five weeks so I spend time reviewing my story, taking away from my regular devotional time.

Psalm 65 is my assigned psalm for the week and it describes a life of abundant blessing and joy.  Here are a few examples, “Blessed are those you choose and bring near to live in your courts!  We are filled with the good things of your house, of your holy temple. … The whole earth is filled with awe at your wonders; where morning dawns, and evening fades, you call forth songs of joy. … You care for the land and water it; you enrich it abundantly. … You crown the year with your bounty, and your carts overflow with abundance.”  As I read the psalm I found that I longed for that kind of abundance in my life, not in the material blessings of overflowing carts and bounty but in the good things of the house of God, the joy that comes from intimacy with God.  It seems that I have been missing that intimacy over the course of the past year as my devotional time has dwindled from a daily routine to an intermittent, hit or miss proposition.  I long to regain what I have lost but it seems that any commitment I make to renew my routine is met with abject failure.

An excerpt from The Coming of God, by Maria Boulding, gave me some hope today.  She writes, “If you want God, and long for union with him, yet sometimes wonder what that means or whether it can mean anything at all, you are already walking with the God who comes.  If you are at times so weary and involved with the struggle of living that you have no strength even to want [God], yet are still dissatisfied that you don’t, you are already keeping Advent in your life.”  From her perspective I am walking with God in spite of how I feel about it.  Her perspective may well be true but I still long for the joy I have experienced in the past from shared intimacy with God.  That is something I miss.

Photovoltaic Lights

Monday 12/3/2012 5:00 AM

My neighbor has photovoltaic lights along his sidewalk.  They have photoelectric cells on the top of the light, which absorb sunlight during the day, convert it to electricity and then store it in a small battery.  When the sun sets at night a sensor turns the light on and it illumines his sidewalk using the energy that is stored in the battery.  The lights work great in the summer, when the days are long and there is plenty of sunlight but this time of the year, when the number of hours of daylight is less and when it is cloudy, the lights can store no energy because they are not exposed to the sunlight, the source of all the energy.

My psalm for the week is Psalm 80.  Verses 3,7 and19 are all alike, “Restore us, O God; make your face shine upon us, that we may be saved.”  I immediately thought about my neighbors’ lights and I wondered if the verse could paraphrased in this way, “Make your face shine upon us, that we may be empowered.”  I also thought of Jesus’ words in John 15:5, “I am the vine; you are the branches.  If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”  Jesus had a way of using the common items of his day when he told his parables and made his point to his disciples.  If he were walking the earth today he may have said, “I am the sunlight, you are the photovoltaic lights.  If you absorb me and store my power in your batteries, you will have much light.  Apart from me you can do nothing.”

For the past year or so I have not had my normal, regular devotional time each morning.  It seems that other things have crowded out my time with God.  Not surprisingly I have not heard God calling me to ministry and I feel isolated and alone in my daily life.  I need to spend time before the face of God, absorbing his love, so that my batteries are energized for ministry.

Photosensitivity

Saturday 12/1/2012 6:51 AM

The streetlights in my neighborhood have photo sensors on them.  In the evening, when the sun sets, they come on automatically and in the morning, when the sun rises, they turn off.  I ran a little later than usual this morning and the sky was lightening as I turned at my halfway point to go back home.  As I ran I noted a number of streetlight were turning off as I ran past them.  They were no longer needed to illuminate the street because the sun was rising.

I immediately thought of Matthew 5:14-16, “You are the light of the world.  A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.  Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl.  Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.  In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”  Revelation 21:22-24 and its description of the city of God also came to mind, “I did not see a temple in the city, because the Lord God Almighty and the Lamb are its temple.  The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and the Lamb is its lamp.  The nations will walk by its light, and the kings of the earth will bring their splendor into it.”

God calls me to be photosensitive.  He has placed me in a dark world and asks me to let the light of his love shine through my life to illumine the darkness around me.  If I live in such a way that when those around me see my loving deeds they give glory to God, then the glory of God brings more light into their lives and I can turn my light off, allowing God’s glory to illumine their world.  God will then move me to a different place or bring me into relationship with a different person where my photosensitive cell can turn the light of God’s love back on to illuminate another portion of the world of darkness.

In heaven there will be no need of photosensitivity.  God’s love will be pervasive and we will all be bathed in the light of God’s love and mercy.  It will be obvious to all.  But in the meantime God calls us to be streetlights, illuminating our immediate surroundings, showing the world a little glimpse of the future. 

Secure Lot or Lot Secure

Tuesday 11/20/2012 7:19 AM

Last Friday Jaci and I met with our financial advisor to review our financial plan and see how things looked for retirement.  He made a presentation in which he projected our expenses and our income into the future and then compared them.  It appears that we should be able to live off of my pension to meet our daily expenses and then use our investment income to do some traveling, if we desire.  He said that, barring any major medical issues, we should be able to retire with few worries.  I have never worried at all about retirement but hearing the words from a neutral third party gave me some sense of relief.

This morning I read Psalm 16, my psalm for the week, and a short phrase at the end of verse 5 caught my attention.  It says, “…you (God) make my lot secure.”  The part that caught my attention was the order of the words.  It does not say that God gives me a secure lot; it says he makes my lot secure.  To me, a secure lot implies that everything is hunky dory, I have a comfortable job, a nice family, I live in a nice neighborhood, and so on.  The idea of God making my lot secure has a different connotation.  That implies that my lot may include losing my job, having a dysfunctional family, being homeless or living in an undesirable neighborhood, and so on, but God will enter those insecure circumstances and make me secure.

I remember when I quit my job at Valley Christian without having another job lined up.  I spent two months of my life without having the security of a new teaching contract.  At that time I was in very insecure circumstances but I felt more peace and security during those two months than at any other time in my life.  I knew I had been obedient to God in leaving my job at Valley Christian and I knew God would provide for me and for my family.  Even though I didn’t know how he would provide I knew he would do so.  My reading today also includes Luke 12:6-7, “Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies?  Yet not one of them is forgotten by God.  Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”  If I believe that I have great worth to a loving God it is natural to have confidence that he will make my lot secure.

The Fly Away Life

Monday 11/12/2012 5:40 AM

My psalm for the week is Psalm 90.  Verse 10 caught my eye as I read this morning.  “Our days may come to seventy years, or eighty, if our strength endures; yet the best of them are but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away.”  I will celebrate my fifty-seventh birthday later this month and for some reason I realized that the seventy years referred to in Psalm 90:10 is only thirteen years away.  The last part of the verse that speaks of passing quickly and flying away certainly hit home to me this morning.

My thoughts began to swirl within my head and I thought about one of the songs I practiced with a men’s octet yesterday entitled I’ll Fly Away.  The implication of the song is that someday I will fly away to a home beyond where everything will be wonderful.  In the meantime, I simply hang on here and long for a better future.

Many Christians today have that same idea, we are simply pilgrims passing through a foreign land on our way to our true home.  Something about that way of thinking seems wrong to me.  If that were all there was to life why would God even bother putting us in this world?  Why not simply make us to be born in heaven where we could live in perfection from the get go?

When God created the world he placed man in the garden and walked with him and they lived together in community.  Man’s disobedience and his desire to be like God was what ruined that relationship and God is at work to reconcile mankind to himself.  God redeems me so that I can have relationship with him and to be an agent of reconciliation in the world, to show the world how life can be lived to the fullest.  God doesn’t want me to long for heaven on earth; he wants me to bring heaven to earth.  I can experience oneness with God and true community with my neighbor today, there is no need to wait for the sweet by and by.  I pray that I can be that kind of person, one who ushers the kingdom of God into this broken world.